Driven by Destiny

Thursday, July 31, 2014

BDSM Poll of the week: What do you think of Ass to Mouth in BDSM?

Most of my readers know how I feel about Ass to Mouth. You can read my feelings about it and about my discussion with Swami on A2M 

But I want to know your thoughts as well. Please take this poll and let me know your views

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

BDSM pic of the day: Cuffed Cock sucking submissive

I would like to showcase some really beautiful publicly available BDSM pictures on my blog starting today. These really sing to me and inspire me to be a better Daasi. 

My first one in this series is a beautiful combination of Love of a Master and adoration of a Submissive. She lets her Master take the lead and in return she feels his attraction and love. 

Her collar shows her status. Her eyes show her devotion, while the way he gently holds her hair shows his affection. Notice how she trusts him completely. There is no resistance with her hands to his putting his cock in her mouth. She is open and gratefully services him. 

What a beautiful dynamic. Some might just see a physical act here. I see a spiritual experience. 

The picture looks even more beautiful in Black and White. 

To give of yourself completely and unselfishly to someone, in that act, there is total freedom and bliss

Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Pleasure of Sexual Service

If you have been following my tweets last week, you know that Swami was traveling last week. I missed him terribly. It just didn't feel right to sleep on the bed while he was away, so while I did my daily Slave Yoga Poses and slept naked as per my Slave Contract, I slept on the floor and kept his used T-shirt with me so that I could smell his body odor often.

I am only allowed to talk to him twice a day for two minutes each while he is away so by the time he comes back, my need for him is as great as a drowning man's need for oxygen. Swami also refused to tell me when he would be returning Thursday and promised something intense when he was back, so the anticipated reward of his return and the mysterious "intense session" just flooded my brain with dopamine. I was amped up and sexually turned on all day Thursday  waiting for him to get back.

To keep myself busy and relax myself a little bit, I asked Chutki to give me a Brazilian wax. It was the only permitted activity between me and Chutki that Swami does not have to pre approve :-)
It is like an escape hatch for both of us, when we are looking for some sexual release but aren't allowed to sexually stimulate each other. The feeling of warm wax on our pussies followed by the stinging when the hair is ripped off provides  some sorely needed sexual gratification. Swami knows that sometimes we "Brazilian Wax" a little too often, but he gracefully allows us this small infraction :-)

Chutki is a perfectionist. After she finished with the wax, she examined me closely and pulled out any stray hairs with tweezers. By the time she was done, there wasn't one single strand of hair left anywhere in my pubic area. She giggled, proud of her work of art "There!! all done Didi, now you are completely bald. Your pretty pink pussy is all ready for Maalik". I stared at her work of art in the mirror. My pussy area was indeed rosy pink and a little inflamed, so Chutki applied some soothing almond oil on it.

Then it was my turn to return the favor for her. It took us about an hour but once we were done, we were proud of our grooming skills :-)

We then finished cooking a nice meal, did some other chores, dressed up, applied makeup and waited anxiously for Swami, not knowing when he would return. Waiting for your reward for 3-4 hours not knowing when you will get it, is sweet torture and Swami is a Master at rendering such an exquisite torture. He keeps you guessing and only reveals his plans at the very last minute. We sat around watching TV, but I could hardly focus on anything. My pussy was wet with anticipation and the dopamine surge was interfering with my cognitive functions.

Suddenly, Chutki got a text message. She read it, and a sly smile broke on her lips.

"Is that Swami?" I asked?
She didn't answer, but I knew it was him from the way she acted. She was now a pawn in some devious plot against me.
"Come Didi, I have to prepare you", she said quietly.
She stood up, turned off the Television and gave me her hand. I took it quietly and felt a slight shiver run down my spine as I followed her to our bedroom.
"I'm going to remove your clothes now Didi", Chutki said quietly. She was slow and her fingers grazed my body gently as she undid my blouze and my bra. Then she knelt in front of me and gently undid my sari. She brought her face really close to my pussy, looked up at me naughtily and sniffed gently.

"Oooh. I can smell your heat, Didi" she taunted me gently. My heart was pounding. I could barely stand. Chutki hooked her thumbs on both sides of my panties and slowly yanked them down. Both of us stared at the inside of my panty as it came down. It was soaked.
"I need to clean you Didi"
I nodded a little embarrassed.
'It's OK. My panty is the same way" Chutki said trying to comfort me. Then she left briefly and returned with a bowl of warm water and a washcloth. With loving care, she dipped the washcloth in the warm water and massaged it gently across my pussy. Her touch only aggravated the problem. I felt so turned on that I started leaking even more.
"Oh Didi, you are making a mess" Chutki chided me softly.
"Stop...St...Stop.. rubbing.... Stop rubbing and playing with...." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"I... I don't want to.... I don't want to.... cum", I hissed. "It's against Swami's rules". My legs started shaking.

"Ok..Ok.." Chutki hastily stopped her teasing and guided me to the bed.
"Didi, head on the edge, legs spread out with thighs completely parted, hands spread out as well" she directed.
I obeyed and assumed a spread-eagle position.
"Maalik wants me to secure you Didi" she said, typing something into her phone.
I nodded. Quickly I was bound. My wrists and ankles were anchored to the far ends of the bedpost, my thighs were tied down, so that my pussy was completely exposed with my head positioned just over the edge of the bed with my hair touching the floor.

"Is Swami going to be home soon?"
"I don't know Didi. All I know is what he wants me to do"

Then she disappeared for a few minutes. When she returned, I noticed she had a pair of noise cancelling headphones with her.

"Oh No!" I thought. She noticed the wide panicked look in my eyes. "Uh...Uh.. Didi"

She slid the headphones over my ears and connected them to her ipod. Suddenly loud music in a language I could not understand began to play, completely cutting me from any of the noises in the bedroom.

I struggled to focus. Then she swiftly blindfolded me. With my vision and hearing totally cut off, an overwhelming sense of helplessness overcame me. I could sense small beads of sweat on my forehead.

"Chutki... are you there? Chutki.. CHUTKI" Then I realized what a fool I was. I could barely hear my voice over the noise of the music. How could I hear her response? I instinctively tugged at my restraints, but Swami had taught his Kaneez well. They did not budge. I sighed, gave up and began my wait.

I began to count, in an effort to keep track of time. I made it all the way to 30 minutes then I gave up. Swami was too smart to fall for my tricks. I would have to surrender any notion of time before he would appear, so I stopped counting, mentally acknowledged my abject surrender and waited. I zoned in and out of awareness as I waited for something to happen.

I don't know how much time passed, but all of a sudden, nose picked up an endearing smell. I tried to focus and took a few deep breaths of air.

"Oh Yes!, there was no mistaking that divine smell of my Swami's body. My lips broke into a smile.

"Welcome home to your castle, my Lord" I said in a soft compliant voice. There was no response, but I knew he was there.
Was he staring at me? Did what he see please him? Where was Chutki? I yearned to just kiss his feet, feel his touch on my skin. I moved my head from side to side trying to intensify his scent. Suddenly I felt something on my nose. Before I could react, a swimmers nose clip went over my nose, completely cutting off my air supply. Now I could not smell him anymore!

I opened my mouth, so I could breathe, my heart pounding against my breast. All of a sudden I felt Chutki's hand on my feet. She tied a piece of rope to each of my toes and jerked them back and fastened the other end of the rope to my wrists. I tried wriggling my toes, but I could barely move them. Then I felt something caress my lips. I licked my lips and felt something moist. As I tasted it, I smiled. A tiny drop of pee. My Swami had just touched my lips with his cock. He must have peed just after coming home.

A few more moments passed. I waited anxiously.  Then I felt it. His magnificent manhood against my lips. My tongue darted outward to lick it, but he withdrew denying me that pleasure. My  mouth watered in anticipation, but I knew I must be patient. The Master decides when the Slave can have her reward, not the other way around. His cock touched my lips again and again my tongue darted out to find it, again I found nothing. Again I withdrew and waited. This happened several times, till I figured out what his message was.

The next time, he touched my lips with his cock, I kept my tongue in my mouth. I had learnt my lesson. I waited patiently. He tried it a few more times. When he was certain that his Slave had learnt her lesson, he slowly inserted his cock into my mouth. I opened my mouth wide to invite his cock in. I felt him push his cock all the way into my throat. Now the fun would begin. How many seconds could I hold out without air?

We had started playing this game several months ago, and now I just love performing this form of extreme blowjob on Swami. Here is a video that captures some of the essence, but I feel the nose clip and oxygen denial makes my blowjob so much more rewarding for me!!

I can usually hold out for around 1 minute or so, and then he withdraws his cock and lets me take in a lung full of air, then swiftly pushes his cock into my mouth again. The oxygen deprivation, along with the strong mouth fuck gets me to orgasm very quickly. I love this ritual now and crave it more than any other way of orally pleasuring Swami.
I was drooling so much now that the saliva was running down my face over my blindfold and into my hair. After a few more thrusts, like clockwork, I had my first intense orgasm. My whole body shuddered and tensed up as I let the intense feeling wash over my body. His cock in my mouth denying me any oxygen while I succumbed to my orgasm made it simply exquisite. There is nothing quite like it :-)

As I was coming to my senses, I felt it. Somebody was using something really soft and tickly on the soles of my feet. It was unbearable. The feeling was so intense, I wanted to yank my feet off but I was tied down and was helpless. I let out a loud yelp, trying desperately not to clench my teeth as my Swami's cock was in my mouth. The tickling intensified and drove me completely crazy. I could not focus on the blowjob anymore. My lungs were begging for air, my feet were sending all these sensations to my brain and I was drooling like a little baby. My brain was begging for a respite from the sensation overload, but instead my Swami reached over and started twisting my nipples like he was trying to screw them into my breasts!!

There are no words I can use to describe this feeling, so I just want you to close your eyes and imagine it. My lungs begging for air, A cock pounding in and out of my mouth, my nipples being twisted mercilessly and soles of my feet being tickle tortured all at the same time. Imagine the different sensations such a brain must be experiencing.  Can you see me writhing helplessly, completely overwhelmed, being used like I crave to be, by my Lord? Do you see now why I love being his Slave? Who can move me like this but my Swami. Who else can take me to mind blowing places that most women could only dream of? Who can summon multiple soul shattering orgasms for his slave from the other side of the world as if he commanded the very laws of the universe.

I gave out a guttural yell as another strong orgasm took hold of me and shook me to my very bones. My body started shaking violently and I felt an intense damp feeling under my butt. What was that? I wondered. As if he anticipated my question, My Swami withdrew his cock, had Chutki dip her hand in my wet mess and feed it to me. It was definitely not pee. So I had squirted.

I strained to hear what they were saying, but the music was so loud in my ears, that I could hear next to nothing. My Swami resumed his face fucking. I was totally exhausted by now and felt like a little rag doll being used for somebody else's pleasure, but for some reason I did not want it to stop. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain on my left thigh. Then after a moment the pain migrated a little higher, and then still higher. I gasped when I realized what was going on. Chutki was pouring hot candle wax on my thighs.

"Oh No!" I thought in panic, "She wouldn't". I felt the same on my right thigh. I tried to pull my body away, but it was of no use.
Drip.."AAh", Drip "Oh my sweet lord...." Drip....."No... No... not there....." I tried to withdraw my pussy into my body. Drip.....a few spots hit below my navel and right on my pubic area. I squealed, but my voice barely made it out with my Swami's cock entrenched in my mouth.

Then I felt Chutki's fingers gently ease my outer lips apart. A white bolt of pain ravaged thru my body as the hot wax drop landed on my exposed clitoris. I was going mad. I could not see, I could only hear loud music, All I could feel were these sensations on my skin. Not being able to anticipate when the next drop could fall was torture so sublime only Swami could have devised it. I felt Chutki remove the wax and apply a little bit of some soothing gel and back off. Then without warning another hot wax drop landed on my clitoris. I let out another yell. Meanwhile Swami continued his mission of face fucking me. My face was covered with drool and sweat and my body was totally exhausted, but Swami was not done with his slave yet.
I started sobbing as the sensations simply overwhelmed me. Suddenly the music stopped and I felt the headphones being removed from me.
"Do you want me to stop Daasi?" I heard his voice and it was as if some magic pixie dust had been sprinkled on me.
"Welcome back Swami..". I whispered in a hoarse trembling voice.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked again.
"Only if you are done and satisfied Swami" I said in a pleading, groveling voice.
"I'm not done" he said.
My eyes teared up. How much more could I take I wondered?
My brain was screaming to tell him to stop, but what came out of my mouth was something totally different.
"Then this Daasi, is ready to receive your gift, Swami" I said in a voice that I barely heard.
"Good Daasi" he said and put the headphone back and my world evaporated before me.

I felt something cool on my butt hole and then I knew that something new was being planned. Chutki had donned our biggest and baddest strap on dildo and was using that to assault me anally. I don't care what they show in porn movies about how girls enjoy over-sized dicks violating them, once you get past a certain "sweet spot" size, everything else is just painful. It took Chutki several minutes to finally get that monstrosity into my butt and all through the process, I felt as if my insides were being ripped apart, but I was determined not to tap out now. Chutki was gentle but sometimes I wonder why vendors make such monstrous dildos!

I whimpered as my ass got reamed, my mouth got fucked and my nipples got twisted like they were pretzel dough. Every now and then, a hot drop of wax would find its way onto my clitoris, driving me totally crazy. I lost track of the number of orgasms at this stage.

Finally Swami pulled the headphones off, took off my blindfold and yanked off the swimmers clip off my nose.

"I'm going to cum, he grunted. "Hold it in your mou..." Then he shook violently and I felt his cum hit the back of my throat. I cupped his cock tightly with my lips and collected his cum in my mouth. It took him several moments to finish cumming. Then he gestured and Chutki freed me from my restraints. Carefully I raised myself with his cum still in my mouth. For a few seconds I felt dizzy, then my world returned to normal. I looked at him waiting for his instructions. He motioned to Chutki. She gazed at him expectantly and quickly placed her face next to mine.

"Open your mouth Daasi" Swami commanded.
"Do you smell it?" He asked Chutki
She nodded, licking her lips.
He laughed cruelly and pulled her away by her hair. "That's how close you will get to it" he taunted her
"Please... Maalik... I have done everything....I have....." she begged
"Look at her" Swami hissed into Chutki's ear
"Swallow it Daasi" he said looking at me.
An audible pathetic sigh escaped Chutki's lips when Swami's cum disappeared down my throat.
"Don't worry" Swami said suddenly with tenderness in his eyes. "I have other things planned for you"
"Yes Maalik" she said completely dejected.

"Come here Daasi" Swami beckoned. I staggered off the bed, but I was so weak, I collapsed on the floor. He hoisted me up with his strong arms and kissed me gently on my forehead. After a few seconds I was able to stand on my own. He gestured toward a piece of paper on our dresser drawer. I limped towards it and studied it. Then I looked at Chutki, Then I read it again. Then I smiled.

Damn! what a devilish plan!

He turned to Chutki. "I will be in the other room with a baby monitor and the other baby monitor will be in this room. If I hear any sound from you, I will immediately put an halt to what I have asked Daasi to do"
Then he walked out.

I looked at the long list. Towards the end of the list was a bunch of stuff that was sure to give Chutki some powerful orgasms, but could she survive without screaming her head off till I reached that far down the list?

Chutki looked at me expectantly, but now it was my turn to play dumb. I smiled sweetly and said "Your Maalik would like me to cuff you now Kaneez"

Monday, July 21, 2014

Consensual Slavery vs Unlimited Choice

Whenever I get into discussions about my lifestyle and/or traditional gender roles, even the most understanding and open-minded people, usually say something like this "As long as you made that choice, I am OK with it, even if I don't agree with it, but you shouldn't be forced by religion, culture, family, society etc etc to make any choice that you don't want to make"

The implication is that "not having the ability to make your own choices" is somehow a tremendous disadvantage or drawback and should not be tolerated under any circumstances. But is that really a sound assumption based on fact or is it our emotional response based on our own biases?

Sheena Iyengar a professor at Columbia Business School, is known for her research on the topic of choice and has even written a book on it called "The Art of Choosing". In the TED talk clip I have included here, she specifically explores this very question and other important "myths" about "our love affair with choice"

Her conclusions may seem startling and uncomfortable to many, but for a Daasi like me, it came as no surprise at all, because I have always intuitively believed  what Iyengar found through her experiments.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a "feminist" say "It's all about a woman's right to choose, only she should have the right to make her own choices", I could buy myself a nice present. Iyengar demolishes this argument completely.

I respect my Swami and trust him completely, so I have handed over the power to make choices on my behalf over to him. Instead of focusing on what "I want" or what "I am entitled to" or what "I deserve or desire", I find total bliss is letting Swami decide what "I should have", what "I am entitled to" and what "I deserve or should desire". In her studies, Iyengar found that this is not just a "dim witted" alternative to the popular mantra of making the "individual woman the primary locus of choice " and advocating for "stick to your guns no matter what the effect, if a choice affects you, only you have the right to make it; the only way to protect your interests is to take care of it yourself"

Iyengar found that Letting others make choices for you, provided they had earned your trust and respect actually helps build healthy communities and promotes harmony in relationships!!

Giggle: Submissive:1, Feminist:0 :-)

The second myth about "choice" is that "it is THE marker for liberation and freedom", i.e. where it is absent, there is no freedom, only oppression and suffering. Iyengar found that often what we mistake as choice is actually meaningless minutia. Her experiment with "choice of soda" here is very instructive. Just like the Russians in her experiment concluded that "Pepsi" "Coke" and "Mountain Dew" is not really a choice of drinks but just a single choice of "Soda", I have finally recognized that often what I considered "my choices" were just "different manifestations of my own ego and selfishness". When before becoming a Daasi, I made my own choices, I was not really choosing between different alternatives, I was always picking the same thing, namely: "What my ego demanded of me" I only had an illusion of making choices. As a Daasi, my Swami makes choices for me, as a free woman, my ego made choices for me. I really did not have "extra choices" or freedom as a free woman, I just thought I did. In other words, we are all slaves, some of us choose our Master, some don't even recognize we are slaves and think we are actually free and are making choices!!

Submissive:2, Feminist: 0 :-)

Finally, the one myth that is religion to most feminists. "No woman should ever say no to choice". Iyengar found out in her experiments that parents struggling with making end of life decision for their children  felt trapped, guilty, angry even clinically depressed while making tough choices but could not get themselves to let the doctors make these choices for them. Some felt they were being tortured and felt like executioners, but nonetheless insisted on making those decisions.

In my case, I say "no to making choices" daily but I have never felt trapped, angry or depressed. Instead I am filled with pure transcendental bliss when I submit to my Swami. Walking away from "Choosing" and "becoming a Daasi" was perhaps the best decision I made from a happiness standpoint. I am so lucky that I was not trapped into believing that "only exercising my own choices" would make me happy.

Submissive:3, Feminist: 0 :-)

To conclude, being a Slave affords me a different vantage point, like being blind offers Iyengar a different vantage point. Listen to her story about the nail polish experiment at the end. It is so precious!!  I giggled when I heard how the women reacted when Iyengar presented them with two bottles of nail polish without any labels.

When you strip away "labels" from how we lead our lives, and objectively evaluate Consensual Slavery, can you really tell the difference? Or is the label "Consensual Slavery" coloring your perception on what it is?

May I respectfully suggest that all of us think about this deeply and come to our own conclusions

For me the final score is

Submissive:4, Feminist: 0 :-) but your score may be very different and that is ok


Saturday, July 19, 2014

Weekend Bollywood Blast: Cocktail: Story of a PUA and his two girls, one submissive, one slutty

This weekend's Bollywood blast is the 2012 movie Cocktail. It revolves around this Pickup Artist (PUA) Gautam and his girlfriend Veronica. Veronica played by Deepika Padukone is a "liberated" Indian chic. She sleeps around, parties hard, drinks hard, basically has a lot of fun but underneath it all is a really nice girl.
Veronica befriends Meera (played by Diana Penty) who is a submissive traditional girl and a polar opposite of Veronica. Meera hates Gautam and his brash and selfish outlook on life and love, but as they interact, Gautam slowly gets drawn towards Meera  Now unlike real life, Bollywood strays off the PUA script and makes Gautam fall in love with Meera but then, its a movie right?

One thing is shown accurately though. PUA's may have lots of fun with "slutty loose women" but they never fall in love with these girls or marry them. Gautam ditches Veronica and goes after Meera leaving her traumatized.

What about Meera? Does she fall in love with Gautam. Well, you better watch the movie to find that out.
You can watch a preview of here or the entire movie with English subtitles on Youtube at the link below

Watch the trailer with english subtitles to see if  you are interested

Here is the song where you can see Gautam falling for Meera
Beautiful Song and Diana Penty as Meera looks gorgeous in the song. Needless to say Deepika delivers another outstanding performance. 
2013 was a good year for Deepika, She won the "2013 Special achievement award" for delivering 4 Bollywood blockbusters in one single year. Here is her emotional award ceremony
and an interview with her in English