Driven by Destiny

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Dear Daasi: Pee and Slavery

Dear Daasi: Thank you for posting about your slave baptism recently. Enjoyed reading your post after such a long time. I consider myself a submissive woman, but the thought of drinking his pee or even letting him pee on me just totally turns me off.  Do you see a linkage between water sports and submissive behavior?

My answer: 

Dear Submissive Sister. There is no "sexual act" that is a "necessary condition" to be considered a submissive in my mind. Submissiveness is a "state of mind". You could be submissive and dislike certain sexual acts. You could be dominant and like those same acts. I am never to judge another sister's earnestness in submissiveness based on her sexual likes and dislikes. That would be presumptuous of me.

Having said that, I am a big believer in the power of daily routines and rituals in keeping a person in a submissive state of mind.  For me personally certain sexual acts, make me feel more submissive and fulfilled. If you feel that there are other ways for you to "remain in the submissive zone" then you should practice them diligently, even if "pee play" is not one of them.

Also remember, that I am a slave, not a submissive. I have joyously decided that I want Swami to control all aspects of my life. I don't want to be "free" intellectually. I want to be free of my ego  by becoming totally enslaved. Now that I have tasted "slavery", submissiveness just doesn't appeal to me as much. I personally get deeper satisfaction from slavery than being a submissive. I understand each woman is different, so this may not work for you

Now as a slave, I want to feel like one 24x7. I want to feel totally possessed. I want my mind to "know completely" that I am my Swami's property. One of the ways, I am able to remain in that "blissful slave zone" is by practicing some rituals.

For me personally, drinking Swami's pee and swallowing his cum is a very important one. Part of the reason is these are kind of taboo. So by engaging in them, I get a thrill. Here is what is going thru my head when Swami pees on my face or in my mouth

Show me I am your property My Lord, by using me like one. Only that will satisfy me

Wow. I am kneeling before a man, and letting him urinate in my mouth and on my face. Most humans are disgusted by another's pee, but I am swallowing it!! My Swami would never pee on somebody else, because that would be considered disrespectful, yet he doesn't hesitate to pee on me. That must mean that in his eyes, this is a appropriate act to perform on me. In my Swami's mind, he has accepted that I am his property, where he doesn't really have to think about "respect" or "disrespect". He knows a property doesn't have such feelings, just like the toilet bowl doesn't feel "disrespected" because we use it. His act of peeing in my mouth is his way of assuring me that I should feel secure that I am truly his slave. I imagine him saying  the following to me as he pees, "See Daasi, now you can stop worrying and truly believe that you are my slave. I am peeing in your mouth and expecting you to swallow it. By treating you as my toilet bowl, I am indeed loudly proclaiming you as my property. I am freeing you from the prison of delusional self-respect. You don't have any, because you are my property" Instead of just telling me, he is showing me. 

You see, I crave to do insanely humiliating things for him, because every act, reinforces the one thing I crave more than anything in this world. To be "owned" by my God. I don't want to be his equal, or his wife, or his friend. I want to go beyond all that. I want to be "his". I want to completely lose my identity in him. I want to merge with him. I don't want to be a "Daasi" separate from her "Swami". I am so deeply in love that I want to feel him at a level that I can't by remaining distinct from him. That is why I don't want him to think of me as a person with feelings, respect, rights, etc. I want to become an extension of him in every way. 

So for me acting as my Swami's toilet bowl is a deeply spiritual act that reinforces and preserves my slave status. It may not be for you, but I strongly urge you to find some act that both you and your Dominant agree firmly establishes that relationship between the both of you. That can be your secret handshake to show your Dom, that you are his obedient and humble submissive.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Monday, September 28, 2015

The Pope, and my slave baptism

Now that I am pregnant, I am also extra emotional. I breakdown and cry for the silliest of reasons. In my case, rather than sadness or depression, most of time it is because something deeply moves me.

And the past week, I have been tearing up a lot. Why?

Because I am listening and seeing the Pope on television. Yes, I am not a Christian, but when I see him I can very strongly feel deep inside me, how he must feel inside and knowing that another person must feel just like you do is a very strong emotional force.

Let me explain

Here is my top ten reasons for why I feel so connected to the Pope

  1. For the Pope, Jesus is God, for me Swami is God
  2. The Pope worships Jesus, I worship Swami
  3. The Pope had dedicated his life to Jesus, I have dedicated my life to Swami
  4. In his service of Jesus, the Pope loves to humble himself by doing things, others might find distasteful, disgusting or revolting like washing somebody's dirty feet. In my service of Swami, I love to humble myself and do things that many women and men might find distasteful, disgusting and revolting. 
  5. The Pope lives in the midst of great luxury yet cares little for the material comforts in life and chooses to live simply, because he is a servant of the Lord. Swami has provided for so many creature comforts for me, yet I care little for them. I get the greatest joy, when I kneel before him or sleep on the cold bathroom tiled floor with Swami in my mind
  6. The Pope feels insulted by nobody because he has no ego and because his heart is filled with humility. Who can insult me? I am a slave, a nobody, the lowliest of servants. My ego is crushed and my heart is filled with joy for being my Swami's slave.
  7. The Pope is soft spoken but has the deepest of convictions. I am soft spoken because how I behave reflects on my Master, but I too have very strong convictions
  8. The Pope is very conservative when it comes to family matters. So am I
  9. The Pope accepts pain and suffering joyfully in the service of Jesus. I too accept pain and suffering joyfully in the service of my God
  10. Finally, The Pope experiences a strange bliss that most cannot even contemplate, because he has dedicated his life to Jesus. I too am bathed in a beautiful transcendent peace because of my practice of Consensual Slavery.
Because of the above reasons, I feel a strange connection to the Pope, even though our lives are so different. I often find my eyes filling up with tears, when I just see him on television. Its the joy of seeing another slave and knowing exactly how he must feel inside.

On Thursday as Swami and I watched the Pope deliver his joint session to Congress, I wept openly. I was so moved. Swami just held me, letting me deal with my emotions. We also listened to the newscaster talk about all the "rituals" that are important to Catholics. I particularly felt drawn towards one of them. Baptism.

I wanted to be baptized.

No, not as a Christian, but as my Swami's slave. I told Swami my idea and how exactly I wanted it done. At first he laughed. Then he realized I was serious. We talked about it some more and he finally agreed to grant me my wish.

Swami was off Friday, so it made the task a lot easier. From Thursday night onward, Swami did not pee in the toilet. He drank a lot of water and peed in a bucket several times a day.

Then yesterday night I had my unique slave baptism. At first, we thought of using the bath tub, but I thought the toilet bowl would be more symbolic of my slave status and more humbling, so I requested we do the ceremony over the toilet bowl. Swami agreed, so I positioned myself like the woman shown in video below. Then Swami poured the pee that was accumulated in the bucket since Thursday night, on my upturned face. I could sense his love and tenderness because he did it slowly so that I could enjoy every moment and yet not be overwhelmed by the amount. I felt great joy as he marked me as his property. I opened my mouth and swallowed as much as I could. Even though he was careful as he poured, some of his pee ran into my nose and a couple of times, we had to stop so that I could regain my breath. I know this must sound strange, but oh my God, his pee tasted simply delicious. After I had drunk copious amounts and my face was absolutely drenched, the bucket was finally empty. I straightened up, slightly disappointed that it had not lasted a bit longer, but very grateful nonetheless. I kissed his feet and overcome by emotion repeated the following several times.

You are my only temple, You are my only devotion You are my only God. I am but a tiny clay doll
You are that doll's life and soul. 

A slave feels loved and protected when her Master marks her this way

I truly felt as if some holy spirit had descended over me. I wrung the pee off my long hair and smeared it all over my body as if it was a magical skin conditioner. I felt totally transformed. To end my slave baptism I gave him a worshipful blow job and gulped down his cum. I then took Swami's permission to sleep in our bathroom floor yesterday night because I really did not want to wash his pee off. I wanted to feel it on myself all night long. Throughout the night, I felt bathed in his love as his pee dried on me and would smile to myself in the dark.

Today morning, I finally took a shower to wash it all off, but I did feel a certain sense of loss as the water and body wash removed my Swami's nectar from my body. I hope unlike a Christian baptism, I will be having many more of my slave baptisms. It is truly a spiritually transformative experience

Saturday, August 15, 2015

We're having a baby!

I just got permission from Swami to let all my readers know that we are having a baby! I am so excited and feel so blessed.

I may not blog for a while. Want to focus on Swami's beautiful gift growing inside me!

Please wish us luck!

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Enjoying Anal rimming as a Slave

I had spent around 45 minutes getting ready for the dinner. I wanted to look really pretty. We were  going to meet up with one of Swami's close friends. Swami had shown me his wife's photo and she looked really pretty, so there was that additional pressure :-)

I took time to doll myself up. Then I presented myself to my Lord. I took a small twirl and let his eyes feast on me. He studied me quietly for while.

"Do I look pretty Swami?" I asked shyly.

I knew I had his attention, since he had stopped reading the "Economist".

"Put your pallu down" He commanded quietly.

I immediately unpinned the pallu from my blouse and let it fall and lowered my eyes. A smile broke his lips as he took in my halter neck sleeveless blouse.

"Raise your hands over your head" he continued.

I did as I was told. I was sure he was studying my armpits. I was glad they were completely hairless and smooth.

He rose and ran his fingers gently over both my armpits. He pinched and pulled them as if he was searching for a stray hair. His fingers found none.

"Perfect" he said. "Come"

He took me by my hand and led me to our bedroom. He stripped naked, got on the bed and motioned to his anus with his fingers.

"Start licking" he said softly.

I smiled and said "Would be my pleasure Swami".

I find anal rimming specially erotic for me as a slave. It is such a subservient act, it fills me with immense pleasure to engage in it.

It fulfills my five rules that make a sexual act specially enticing for me
  1. Swami loves it
  2. It requires a woman to be specially subservient and devoted almost exclusively to her Master's pleasure. 
  3. There is an aspect of humiliation in the act that most women would find repulsive
  4. It makes me specially aware of my slave status and reinforces how I must always be beholden to my Master
  5. It is a wonderful way to experience my Swami's strong and intoxicating body fragrance.  

I gently parted his ass cheeks and kissed them. Then I nuzzled my nose in his ass crack and took a deep breath. He smells so masculine! I love the strong odor of his body. It's as if his masculine smell brings out my deepest feminine side. I rubbed my nose and face in his ass crack and moaned softly. 
Soul food for a slave like me

"You smell so divine Swami", I sighed. 
He placed his strong hands on my head and pushed me further into his ass and held me there. I smiled mentally. As if I would have withdrawn on my own volition!!

I could feel my heart starting to beat quickly as my sexual passions erupted within me. I started at the back of his ass crack and slowly and with great love forked my tongue all the way to his anus. 

He sighed as the light touch of my tongue tickled and comforted him. I circled his anus and continued to tickle it with my tongue. I thought about how my friends would react if they saw what I was doing. I was sure they would be disgusted, but that only turned me on even more. To me that just proved I was being a good sex slave to my Swami, who enjoyed giving him pleasure no matter how other women felt about it. 

I stopped for a few seconds and enquired "How does that feel Swami?" 
He sighed. "It feels really good. Lick more vigorously now"
"Um Hmm" I agreed, plunging my tongue in and licking vigorously. I gently pulled at his anal hair with my teeth and then used my hands to rub his anus with my fingers before resuming licking again. Up and down I went, round and round with my tongue. I coated his entire ass crack with my saliva and licked it completely clean. 

He laughed at all the ridiculous attention I was paying to his ass. 
"You like doing this uh Daasi?" he teased me. 
I blushed a little bit, but how could I lie to my Master?
"Yes Swami, I like the fact that it feels so slutty and naughty and I love it that you make me do it, so I can do it without feeling like a slut"
"Doesn't it gross you out, that I poop from there? he asked
I stopped, raised my head and gazed at him puzzled. "Swami, you are my God, I adore every part of your body, every part of your body is worthy of my worship" I said earnestly. 
"Besides, isn't that why you make me do this Swami?" You like to see me perform these acts with humility don't you? After all I am your sex slave, aren't I? It's my good fortune that you choose to use me to satisfy your sexual fantasies. I love that Swami"
"You are too much, you know that" he sighed
"Now get back to licking my poop hole, my little sex slave. Your Master commands it" he mock admonished me. 
"Yes Swami, I giggled. 

As I licked his ass, I let my hands caress and play with his balls and cock. He had a strong erection now. After several minutes of vigorous licking, when he was thoroughly satisfied that his little subservient and servile slave had performed the act with complete devotion, he pulled me up by my hair. 

"Enough. Now blow me off". 

I did not have to work long on him. I wrapped both my hands tightly around his cock and twisted it in opposite directions as I pressed on the tip of his penis with my lips and mouth. I used lots of spit and made sure he enjoyed the warmth of my mouth and the flicks of my tongue as my hand kept the pressure on his cock. 

"Oh, you depraved slut... You are so good at that" he hissed. 
"Only your slut, Swami, Only yours" I mouthed, but was not sure if he understood or heard me. I could feel his delicious pre-cum on my tongue as his cock started to get coated with it and my saliva. 

He reached out and pinched my nose with one of his hands while his other hand drove my head hard into his groin. I released his cock and moved my hands back and surrendered all control over to him. 

As he vigorously face fucked me, he pinched my nose hard and held my hair tightly. 

"I own you" he said in a low lusty voice. 

"Hmm, Hmm" I agreed as I struggled to get a few breaths of air in between the constant brutal plunging of his cock into my mouth. Tears were running down my face and I must have looked as if I was in a lot of pain, but I was actually enjoying it immensely. I felt as if he was training me to be a better cock whore for him and i wanted to rise to the occasion. 

Finally, he erupted in my mouth. The moment I felt his cock throb I clamped down on his cock and used my mouth as hard as I could, but made sure I did not accidentally swallow his cum. I wanted to collect all of it in my mouth and display it to him and then ask his permission to swallow. 

He held my hair tightly as the orgasm took over his body. 

"Aaah" he grunted. I loved that I had this effect on him. It made me feel complete as a woman, that I could serve my husband, my God, my Master so completely and submissively

I enjoyed the warmth of his cum in my mouth. After he was done. I knelt down and waited with my mouth open. After a few moments, he put his hand in my mouth and rubbed his cum coated finger on my nostrils. 

There is nothing better tasting than a Master's cum!!

"Swallow" he ordered. I looked up at him, smiled and gulped his seed down. 

"You are a mess" he laughed. 

I giggled happily.

"Now go become pretty again" he commanded. 

"May I clean off your cock Swami?" I asked respectfully.
"Oh yeah, How could i forget that?" he said, and inserted his limp but wet penis in my mouth. 
I sucked it with devotion, removing all traces of cum from his cock. When I was done, he gave me a friendly light slap across my face and then bend down and kissed my forehead. 

That was a sure sign that he was happy with me and that made my day!

Friday, June 5, 2015

BDSM pics of the day: Why a woman submits

June 05, 2015 at 10:48AM Ultimately, her soul demands it, there is no other way for her to be happy and no better way for her to show her love for her man

BDSM pics of the day: Being a good display for Master

June 05, 2015 at 10:34AM I love being an exhibit for Swami. I want to be perfect for him, so that he is always proud of what he owns. A God deserves that

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Stay at home Mom's are killing feminism?

I expect feminist articles to be filled with hate, but this one against stay at home mom's took my breath away!

Here are some gems from this article

real feminists don't depend on men - 

No dear. We all depend on men, whether you like it or not. Firefighters, police, construction workers, mine workers, utility workers, plumbers, lawn mowers are all hardworking men. Feminists just leech off men but don't show any gratitude

feminism has misread its mission of equality as something open to interpretation, as expressive and impressive, not absolute.

Wrong again dear. Feminism's mission has never been about equality. It has been about special privileges to a certain class of women at the expense of other women, men, children and society in general. Modern Feminism is all about subsidizing the poor choices of some selfish women, so that they don't have to face the real consequences of their choices and decisions

If you can't pay your own rent, you are not an adult. You are a dependent.

Then women as a class are not adults, because women worldwide earn $18 trillion but spend $28 trillion according to the Harvard Business Review. Where do you think all the extra money is coming from. From the men that you disrespect. And have you never heard of the hashtag #GiveMoneytoWomen ? Now feminists have started extorting money on the Internet!!!

I have to admit that when I meet a woman who I know is a graduate of, say, Princeton -- one who has read The Second Sex and therefore ought to know better -- but is still a full-time wife, I feel betrayed.

You feel betrayed by another intelligent woman's choices? Wow!! Really sad!

being a mother isn't really work. Yes, of course, it's something -- actually, it's something almost every woman at some time does

Maybe you should walk in a Mom's shoes for two days before you make that comment. You do realize that you just insulted your own Mom right?

It is not a selective positionA job that anyone can have is not a job, it's a part of life, no matter how important people insist it is

By that reasoning public school education is no education at all, because you see any kid in the US can get a school education!! and I guess you don't volunteer!! A job is work that contributes to society, even if you don't get paid for it. There are thousands of volunteers and social service workers and community organizers who work in non selective positions. Don't insult them

Oh Forget it! The article is too ridiculous!! You can read it by clicking on the link below if you want!

Stay at home mom's are killing feminism?

Still think feminism is about "gender equality"?

The perfect job for a woman like me!!

Bdsm pics of the day: The elixir of life

June 04, 2015 at 04:49AM When a Master allows his slave to swallow his seed, that is an act of pure grace. I know I am grateful to Swami for showing me to swallow his life giving seed. His seed nourishes my soul