Driven by Destiny

Sunday, September 28, 2014

How to find and keep a submissive woman - part 1

One of the truth’s I have learnt from interacting with readers of my blog is that, most men prefer to be with submissive women, even if they don’t feel comfortable admitting this openly! I have always suspected this, but my interactions have now convinced me about this preference. I get a lot of questions from men on how to find such women. While I completely understand where they are coming from, I feel this is perhaps not the right question for the following reasons.

I have observed that very few women will be submissive to all men they meet, but when the right man comes along, even the most difficult women will assume a submissive role for that man. Chutki is a great example of such a woman. A lot of men orbit around Chutki. None of these men would say that she is submissive. In fact, most would say she is a little too dominant. But with Swami, Chutki is totally transformed. It’s as if Swami is able to tap into a side of Chutki that most other men are not able to access. With Swami, Chutki is super submissive. 

So it is something about the way Swami behaves and acts that compels Chutki to become submissive in her interactions with him. And it is not just Chutki. I have observed that most women are quite differential in front of Swami. Not all women, mind you, but most women. The thing is, Swami doesn’t really behave differently with different women. He is just himself. The women can either accept him for who he is, or not, it’s their choice. Most not only accept it, they actually enjoy interacting with him.

What am I trying to say? I am saying that submission has to be earned. 

So when a man asks me how to find a submissive woman, I often tell him, the real question is whether he is behaving in a way that compels a woman to submit voluntarily and happily. If a woman is bitchy, catty and plain obnoxious with one man, don't assume that she will be the same with every man. When the right man comes along, this woman will happily, joyously, ecstatically submit to him and feel blessed that she has this man in her life!! Then she will not listen to her friends, her parents, even her own head. Her heart will compel her to kneel and the very thought of submitting will give her a dopamine rush. 

From my experiences, I think a woman submits voluntarily to her man for just one reason.
He has earned her trust and she is convinced that he will fulfill her physical and emotional needs. Her submission is an offering to him because he fulfills her deepest needs in a way that no other man does.  

A woman might also submit to her man, because of fear.  She might fear physical violence or may fear that her man might leave her if she doesn't submit. The first kind of fear is really not submission, it is abuse and there is no excuse for this kind of behavior. A man who physically abuses his weaker partner, is really a coward and a tyrant who does not deserve submission at all. What he really deserves is someone who will stand up to his tyranny. Such men are really weak fearful men themselves.

When a woman submits to a man, because she psychologically fears that he might leave her, her submission is also a mirage. Sooner or later her fear will dissipate and then, her submission will also vanish. And just like a thirsty and weary desert traveler cannot be satiated by the mirage of water, a woman who submits out of fear will ultimately leave her man fatigued and bereft.

That is why I feel that the only way to truly command a woman’s submission long term, is to convince her that no other man can fulfill her physical and emotional needs like you can. If you do this, she will offer her submission at your feet willingly and joyfully for the rest of her life, even if you don’t demand it.  I worship my Swami and crave to be his slave, because I am thoroughly convinced in my heart that there is no other man in this world that can take care of my deepest needs like he can. I really consider it a bargain that in exchange for total bliss all I give my Swami in return is my total and unquestioned submission. 

So the real question is, how can a man get his woman to a mental state that I find myself in with my Swami? Because once you get your woman to where I am with my Swami, she will literally worship you. 

If you want to find and keep a submissive woman my suggestion would be to follow the following five step process. My Swami is coaching his close friend who is recovering from a disastrous divorce on this process and I find his metamorphosis truly amazing. Charles now attracts really pretty girls and they treat him so much nicer than his wife used to. 

Here is my understanding of what Swami coached Charles on and now that I think about it, I can see why it works so well. 

The Five Step process to finding and keeping a woman submissive and happy for a very long time

  1. Prepare
  2. Pick
  3. Train
  4. Reward
  5. Reinforce

I hope to cover these steps in the next few blog posts. Hope my readers find it entertaining and instructive :-)

Friday, September 19, 2014

The Twenty Commandments for Submissive Wives

Draupadi, a central figure from the Hindu Epic, "The Mahabharata" has been my inspiration, my muse for what a submissive woman should be. 
She is an extremely feminine and beautiful woman. Here is how her husband describes her beauty

She is not too short, nor is she too large; nor is she too dark nor is her complexion red. 
She has eyes reddened from passion. I will stake her – whose eyes and fragrance are like 
autumnal lotuses. Attached to modesty, she is, in beauty equal to Sri, the goddess of 
beauty. Were a man to desire a woman, she would be like this one, on account of her 
beautiful figure; she would be like this one on account of her perfect character. She is the 
last to sleep and first to awaken. She knows everything, down to the jobs both completed 
and not yet done by the cowherds and shepherds. Like the jasmine flower, the mallika, is 
she; with her perspiring face she appears similar to a lotus. She has red eyes, long hair, a 
waist as slender as the sacrificial altar, and a body with no excessive hair 

What I admire most about Draupadi though is her undying spirit of service and submissiveness. 

When I am in doubt of how I should act, I ask myself "How would Draupadi behave if she were here?"
In the Mahabharata story, there is a beautiful conversation between Krishna's wife Satyabhama and Draupadi, when Satyabhama asks Draupadi the secret to a successful and happy marriage.

This conversation is a treasure trove of lessons for submissive women. I have internalized these nuggets from Draupadi and they have become my bible on how I behave with Swami. 

Here are the twenty commandments of Draupadi that are particularly relevant for submissive women

Commandment 1: In all the worlds, including that of the celestials, there is no god equal, O Satyabhama, unto the husband. When he is gratified with thee, thou mayst have (from thy husband) every object of desire; when he is angry, all these may be lost. It is from her husband that the wife obtaineth offspring and various articles of enjoyment. It is from thy husband that thou mayst have handsome beds and seats, and robes and garlands, and perfumes, and great fame and heaven itself hereafter
Commandment 2: I always serve with devotion my husband with his wives. Restraining jealousy, with deep devotion of heart, without a sense of degradation at the services I perform, I wait upon my husband.
Commandment 3: Ever fearing to utter what is evil or false, or to look or sit or walk with impropriety, or cast glances indicative of the feelings of the heart, do I serve my husband
Commandment 4: Celestial, or man, or young or decked with ornaments, wealthy or comely of person, none else my heart liketh but my Lord

Commandment 5: I never eat or sleep till my husband hath eaten or slept. 

Commandment 6: Whether returning from the field, the forest, or the town, hastily rising up I always salute my husband with water and a seat. 

Commandment 7: I always keep the house and all household articles and the food that is to be taken well-ordered and clean. 

Commandment 8: Carefully do I keep the rice, and serve the food at the proper time.

Commandment 9: I never indulge in angry and fretful speech, and never imitate women that are wicked. Keeping idleness at distance I always do what is agreeable

Commandment 10: I always refrain from laughing loudly and from everything that may give offence to my Lord.

Commandment 11: I always am engaged in waiting upon my lord and a separation from my lord is never agreeable to me. 

Commandment 12: Whatever my husband drinketh not, whatever my husband eateth not, whatever my husband enjoyeth not, I ever renounce.

Commandment 13: I always devotedly seek the good of my lord

Commandment 14The husband is the wife's god, and he is her refuge. Indeed, there is no other refuge for her. How can, then, the wife do the least injury to her lord? I never, in sleeping or eating or adorning any person, act against the wishes of my lord. He is my god, hence I worship my husband, decking myself in costly garlands and ornaments and spraying myself with excellent perfumes

Commandment 15: Never do I show any preference for myself over my Lord in matters of food and attire, and never do I reprove in words that Lord of mine who is the most forgiving.

Commandment 16: Hearing the voice of  my lord at the gate, I rise up from my seat and stay in readiness within the room. And as soon as I seest him enter my chamber, I worship him by promptly offering him a seat and wash his feet. And even when he commands a maidservant to do anything, I get up and do it myself. 

Commandment 17: I let my Lord understand this temper of my mind that I adorest him with all my heart.
Commandment 18: Whatever my lord speaketh before me, I do not blabber of it even if it may not deserve concealment,--for if anyone would speak of it unto him, he might be irritated with me. 

Commandment 19: I feed by every means in my power those that are dear and devoted to my lord and always seek his good. I, however, always keep myself aloof from those that are hostile to and against my lord and seek to do him injury, as also from those that are addicted to deceit. 

Commandment 20: I form attachments with only such females as are devoted to their lords, and I always shun women that are wrathful, gluttonous, thievish, wicked and fickle. 

Thursday, September 18, 2014

BDSM pic of the day: Face fucked to tears

My readers are well aware that I am love sucking my Swami cock. I talk about my obsession with it here. In fact, I am addicted to giving blowjobs to my Swami. 

Kneeling before him and letting him fuck my mouth is one of the sexiest ways I know how to worship him and allow him to dominate me sexually. 

And this picture captures the magic of a mouth fuck for me beautifully.

First of all I love the visual contrast of darker skin of my Swami against my lighter skin when we fuck. This visual is particularly enhanced when I take his chocolate colored cock in my mouth and this picture captures that visual beautifully

Kneeling before Swami has always given me pleasure, but when I do it while sucking him off, the visual of him towering over me  fills me with a strong sense of protection and security

I always like to maintain eye contact with Swami when I am giving him a blowjob. It signifies that I am focused on his pleasure. I like to see his face as he enjoys the sensations of my mouth on his cock. When our eyes meet, they communicate even without saying a single word. 

I love it when Swami uses his strong hands to caress my hair tenderly. Every time I apply pressure with my lips, I feel his fingers stroking my hair and I moan with pleasure. 

There comes a time in the life of every blowjob, when I crave to be face fucked. I want to feel his cock deep down in my throat and love to watch his face while he is doing it. This picture captures that moment perfectly. During such times, I keep my hands on my lap, or sometimes I even let Swami handcuff them behind my back. He then uses his hands to hold my head as he slowly pushes his cock all the way down my throat. Oh Lord! just thinking about this, makes my mouth water. He likes to hold me with my nose mashed against his groin area for a few seconds, before withdrawing to feast his eyes on my watery eyes, runny nose and saliva dripping from my mouth. 

Heart filled with love, eyes filled with gratitude and mouth filled with his cock. Truly, there is no better way to worship my Swami than Cock Worship!!

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Ray Rice Controversy

Chutki and Swami are avid football fans so when the Ray Rice story broke, there was some very interesting conversations in our home.

For those who don't know what happened, (can't believe this can be anybody in the US!!) Ray Rice is the running back for the Baltimore Ravens football team. He and his fiancee Janay Palmer (they are married now!) were arrested on Feb 15th 2014 after they had a physical altercation with each other in a casino in Atlantic City.
You can read more about Ray Rice and the incident here

Finally on Sep 8th, when the video below was leaked to the public, the NFL suspended Ray Rice indefinitely and the Ravens terminated his 5 year $35 Million contract.  There are a lot of questions around this incident, namely

Does the NFL condone domestic abuse?
Did they act in a timely fashion to penalize Ray Rice?
Was their initial sanction of suspending him for 2 games too light?
Did anybody know about this video in the NFL before it was released to the public?
Did the NFL impose the stiffer sentence only after the video was leaked to the public because of public pressure?
Should Janay Palmer have married Ray Rice even after he hit her?
What about her standing behind her husband and supporting him with the following statement "No one knows the pain that the media & unwanted options from the public have caused my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret everyday is horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his ass off for all his life just to gain ratings is a horrific. THIS IS OUR LIFE!"

etc. etc

The reason I am writing about this incident, is because of an interesting conversation that happened between Chutki and Swami on the topic of domestic abuse. It was a long and interesting conversation. I will try to capture the spirit of it here
As this controversy unfolded this week, I could see that Chutki was visibly annoyed. Something was bugging her. The old Chutki, would have blurted out something or yelled something at the television, but now she is a lot more restrained and ladylike. 
She really wanted to get something off her chest but struggled with how to open up the conversation. Finally Swami took pity her and said 
"Ok, Kaneez, get it off your chest, I can see you want to say something here"
"Thank you Maalik. May I be open and frank?"
Swami looked at her and lifted her face by gently placing his finger under her chin. "What's bothering you?"
"I think the poor guy is being lynched in public Maalik"
Swami smiled. "Interesting choice of words Kaneez. Why do you think so?"
"Well, nobody seems to care about her behavior at all"
"What parts of her behavior, do you think are being ignored, Kaneez?"
"Well Maalik, the video clearly shows that she lunged at him, there are even reports that she spat on him, yet everybody is only blaming the man"
Swami was silent for a few seconds.
"Yes, she did lunge at him, didn't she?"
Chutki's face brightened. "Yes, Maalik, yet nobody blames her"
"So you think it was ok for him to strike her, because she lunged at him?"
"AP reports say she even spat on him, Maalik. Doesn't he have the right to defend himself?"
"What do you think, Kaneez?"
"Well, Maalik, if somebody other than you or Didi spits on me or hits me, I would also react the way Ray did. He is human after all"
"Hmm. So you wouldn't mind if I spit on you?" Swami teased her.
Chutki blushed. "I'm your Kaneez, Maalik. You are permitted to do anything"
"What about your Didi?"
"Well, I love her"
"What if your Dad or Mom, spit on you?"
"I would yell at them, Maalik"
"Would you hit them?"
"No, they are my parents"
"Ok Kaneez. What if a 5 year old kid, spit on you deliberately?"
"He or she is just a kid. I won't like it,but...."
"Would you smack the kid?"
"No, of course not Maalik, but Janay is not a kid"
"She certainly isn't" swami said with a chuckle. 
"So Kaneez, how do you decide how to react to someone spitting on you?"
This got Chutki thinking. She kept silent for a while. Swami let her stew over the question for a bit. 
"Well.." Chutki began a little confused now
"I suppose, if it is somebody close to me, near and dear to me, I might overlook it, even if I don't like it, but if it was a stranger, I might lash out"
"Was Janay a stranger to Ray?"
Chutki shook her head. I smiled. 
"But is it fair to expect him to just take it Maalik?"
"Of Course not. What do you think he could have done Kaneez?"
"Well, he hit her out of anger"
"Yes, he did do that. What else could he have done?"
Chutki looked at Swami confused
"I don't understand Maalik"
"Well, when someone is being deliberately disrespectful and refuses to change their behavior, what would you do?"
"I would cut off that relationship, Maalik"
"So why didn't Ray do that?"
"I don't know.. Maybe he loves her too much"
"So he smacked her instead, because he loves her too much?" 
"But Maalik... he was angry. He lashed out her in anger. It is only human. Besides she was trying to hit him. Doesn't he have the right to defend himself?"
"Stand up and Lunge at me as if you are about to hit me" Swami told Chutki. 
"No Maalik..."
"It's OK. Think of it as game. Just play your part well"
So Chutki lunged at Swami and took a swing at him. 
Swami moved quickly and used his hand to block her and swung her around. Then he used his hands to restrain her wrists and using his feet jabbed her behind her knees and she collapsed on him. She rested her shoulders on his chest, breathing heavily. 
"Maalik.. you smell so good...." she sighed. 
I giggled. "Are you enjoying this Chutki?" I teased her. 
Swami, gently kissed her neck and then pushed her away. 
Chutki reluctantly moved away from him. 
"See, I did not have to hit you to defend myself Kaneez"
"Maalik.. Can I try that once again. I did not really do it right the first time"
Swami laughed. "Nice try, no..."
Chutki pouted a little bit, but she knew there was no point arguing.
"Ok.. I see now that he didn't have to hit her. He could have restrained her easily" Chutki conceded
"But, what's wrong with smacking her for her bad behavior? It would send a good message to her that such a behavior would not be tolerated"
"Hmm. So you think he hit her to send her a message?"
"She wasn't being nice to him Maalik, so he let her have it. It's human nature. All these people criticizing him.... they act out when they are insulted too. He just got caught"
I must admit here, I was a little shocked to hear Chutki say this. This is such a transformation for her. When we first met her, she wouldn't have had this point of view. 
Swami looked at her intently and then said, "That may be so Kaneez, but let me ask you something. How many times have I smacked you?"
"Maalik! you never have!"
"Why do you listen to everything I say then, Why don't you just say no?"
"Why do I listen to you?, well Maalik, you are my Maalik. I am your Kaneez"
"But, you weren't when we met. Why did you even consider giving up all your freedom?"
"Because I like being your Kaneez, Maalik" Chutki said in a soft voice
"Why me?"
"Because Maalik you are strong, confident and ..."
Swami waited
"you are so dominant. It is so sexy..."
"So even though I don't use physical force on you, you still behave submissively because of my other traits?"
Chutki nodded
"How come Janay is not submissive then?"
"Maybe she isn't a submissive like me or Didi, Maalik"
"Or.. Maalik?"
"yes, Or.. Kaneez. What is an alternative explanation"
"Ray is probably not dominant!" I chimed in, suddenly realizing where Swami was taking the conversation.
Swami smiled. "But look at him, he certainly looks dominant, and look at how he smacked her"
"Just because he smacked her, does not mean he is a dominant alpha. Swami, you would never put up with being disrespected that way by anyone, but you wouldn't smack a woman who did that either" 
"So why did a strong man like Ray smack Janay, Daasi?"
"Because he knew of no other way to control her or tell her that her behavior was not acceptable, Swami"
Swami smiled "In other words, He really is not a dominant guy. A truly confident and dominant man would handle this very differently"
Then he turned to Chutki
"You see Kaneez, On the face of it, it looks like Ray is showing his power over Janay here by smacking her, but what he is really revealing is his weakness. He doesn't have the tools to change her behavior, so he resorted to violence. Look closely at the video. She smacked him on his face before entering the elevator, yet he followed her into the elevator. Then in the elevator, he let the situation escalate. He could have used his strength to de-escalate the situation, but he was not skilled enough to do that"
"Maalik, is it ok for Janay to behave the way she did?"
"No. Of course not Kaneez.  My guess is Janay behaves that way, because long before this incident, she has exhibited such traits and Ray has not put his foot down firmly and told her that disrespect will not be tolerated. Now finally when the behavior got intolerable, he lost control and used physical violence to put a stop to it"
Chutki thought about what Swami said for a while and then slowly nodded. Then she smiled suddenly. "Maalik, maybe he could have used that blood curdling low whisper and spine chilling stare you use when you are displeased with something!"
Swami laughed. "Come on now, I don't need to do that to get you to be submissive!"
So very true I thought. He does not have to demand submission, he just naturally commands it. 

Friday, August 15, 2014

Erotic Audio Story: An excerpt from Renee Rose's Bossman

Here is an erotic excerpt from "the Bossman" by Spanking aficionado and erotic author Renee Rose

The Bossman is the intriguing story of Sophie and Joey and explores spanking, domination and submission against the backdrop of the mafia family. Oooh! Sopranos with a BDSM twist :-) So sexy!

Sophie Palazzo steered clear of the mafia after her father's involvement ended with his murder. Fifteen years later, Joey La Torre, the Don's brother himself, shows up unannounced at her massage studio and wheedles his way into a date. She has no interest in aggressive, macho men like Joey, or so she tries to tell herself, but her body just doesn't get the message. When Joey takes her in hand with a firm bare-bottomed spanking, she ought to be furious, instead, she's aroused. As she explores her physical desires to be dominated, she tries to keep Joey at arm's length emotionally.

Purchase this e-book on Amazon here