Driven by Destiny

Saturday, October 11, 2014

The Submissive Symbolism of the Karva Chauth Ritual

Today is Karva Chauth. Last year I wrote about why this is such a special ritual for me as a Daasi. You can read about it here

Last year the festival fell on the 22nd of October. This year it  falls on the 11th according to the Lunar calendar. Indeed, October is a very special month for me as a submissive, because it has two festivals I love, Navrathri and Karva Chauth.

Today I fast from sunrise till the moon rises over the horizon for the health and prosperity of my Swami. Why do I do this?

Here is the story and symbolism behind the Karva Chauth ritual :-)

The Story revolves around a beautiful princess who gets married to a handsome prince. On the occasion of her first "Karva Chauth" after marriage, she goes to her parents home to observe the fast. Her brothers are alarmed as her strength ebbs during the day and so trick her into abandoning her fast before sunset.
Unfortunately for the princess, she returns home to hear that her beloved has died! The princess is grief stricken and prays to the God Shiva and his wife Parvati for help. The couple appear before her and Parvati grants the prince back his life but tells the princess that he will remain in a comatose condition for a year. In addition his body is pierced with hundreds of painful needles. Parvati asks the princess to remove one needle a day and then when the year is complete to observe the fast again and complete it fully. Only then will the prince be returned to his normal self.

The princess religiously follows the ritual of taking care of her husband's body and each day removes one of the needles from his body. On the day of the fast, she is so excited taking care of all the formalities of the fast that she designates her maid to remove the last needle.

At sunset, before the princess can appear before her husband, the maid removes the last needle and the prince wakes up. He however mistakes the maid to be his wife and his real wife to be the maid. Everybody tries to convince him otherwise, but the prince refuses to believe them. It is as if he is in a trance. The princess is dismayed, but then decides to serve the prince as his maid, since that will keep him closer to her.

A year rolls by and the fast is upon her again. This time the princess does everything right and attends to her prince while also observing the fasting rituals. She prays to Parvati that the trance on the prince  be broken. Miraculously as soon as she breaks her fast, her prince is restored to his normal self, recognizes her and she is reunited in love!

The story symbolically illustrates the following

1) The fast symbolizes commitment to your relationship. If you are not committed, how can the relationship flourish? Hence the prince dies
2) Even when you have lapsed, recommitting to a relationship can revive it, but this will take time: The prince is comatose with needles
3) A wife's job is to  serve her husband daily and eliminate physical and emotional distress that may befall him: The needles that the princess removes from his body
4) During the re-commitment, even a small relapse can have enormous consequences: The princess fails to serve her husband for one day and he goes astray and considers her a maid
5) A dutiful wife will eventually triumph over all odds. ( Happily ever after ending!!)

Sigh! I just love HEA endings

I am all decked up today to observe the fast. Almost like a bride :-) Of course a small twist, no bra or panties as per Swami's instructions. My fast has started. I wait for the moon to rise over the horizon.
Readers, when you see the moon today, remember me! I will be breaking my fast today at that time!

After much searching, I found a Bollywood song that really captures how I feel today. It is from a really old movie from 1965. Both the actor (Sunil Dutt) and actress (Nutan) are dead now, but the song is so beautiful, I wanted to put it here!

Hope you folks enjoy it. I have added subtitles, so remember to turn them on, when you watch it

Hugs and Kisses

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Tuesday, October 7, 2014

BDSM pic of the day: Surrendering to pain to experience immense pleasure


Most people fear pain. We fear it so much that we are unwilling to even experience it to gain more insights about ourselves.

As a girl, I learnt to embrace pain early. My mom pointed out to me that one of the most beautiful gifts of pain for a woman was the birth of her baby. Unless a woman was ready to experience the pain of childbirth, how could she indulge in the joys of motherhood?

She taught me early on that smiling in the presence of pain and embracing it was essential for the growth of feminine soul in a woman.

So when I embraced the slave lifestyle with Swami, I made sure pain became part of my ritualistic practice of being a Daasi.

Begging Swami to spank me, torture my nipples, pour hot wax on my breasts and pussy are all ways for me to connect with my inner femininity and in embracing that pain, I experience transcendental bliss. I feel indebted to my Swami that he is willing to administer loving pain so that I may grow in my femininity.

This photograph illustrates how I feel about pain beautifully.

The Slave has surrendered to her Master. In fact she holds the clamps in her mouth and subjects herself to the exquisite pain of having her sensitive nipples tortured by the clamps. She has withdrawn her hands behind her head in a gesture of total surrender to the wishes of her Master. Her tilted head heightens the pull on her nipples, further intensifying her experience.

I can almost taste the bliss that her mind is feeling at this stage. Her eyes are closed as she struggles to capture that moment of bliss. I love the slight perspiration on her neck and waist, signifying the excitement and struggle of discovering pleasure in pain.

The Master looks on, fully aware that he is the person responsible for giving such intense pleasure to his Slave, yet his palms rest on her in loving care.


Sunday, October 5, 2014

Perfect Pussy Poll!!

Ever since I had a Brazilian wax, my waxed pussy has been getting a lot of attention from Swami. You can read about my experience at getting the Brazilian here

I have always preferred being completely bare down there, because my Swami demands it and because I feel cleaner and more sexy, but I used to shave my pubic areas, even though I waxed everywhere else

Now that I have finally gone to waxing even there and Swami has now made that the only option for his Daasi, it feels amazing! I wanted to find out what my readers think about this topic. Could you please vote and let me know. Men and women both welcome to participate in poll. Much appreciated!!


Getting Anal about Anal Sex

For every slave there is at least one rule, demand, expectation or order that tests their resolve to be a slave. For me it was anal sex.  Obedience was never a challenge for me. Putting myself lower than my Swami came naturally, being submissive in bed was no problem either till my God said he wanted to have anal sex with me.

If somebody had told me a few years ago that I would willingly accept a cock in my ass and learn to love it, let alone suck on that same cock after it had been in that hole, without it being cleaned, rinsed and disinfected, I would have thought they were crazy. Culturally I was completely turned off by Anal sex.

I am so thankful and feel so blessed that my God coached me to grow beyond my initial prejudice because I now have some of my most memorable orgasms from anal sex. It has not been an easy journey though. I acquiesced to his demand only because I wanted to be obedient and submissive. I decided that I would just endure it.

Our first attempt at it was a flaming disaster. He just applied some lube to his cock and invaded my asshole with the notion that if he pushed hard it would get in there. I was super tense and was so apprehensive of farting or having an accident that my anus just shut down completely. After several minutes of trying and failing, I felt so inadequate that I cried.  My God on the other hand was so understanding. He encouraged me and built up my confidence. He wanted us to learn about doing it right so that it would be enjoyable. He also wanted me to own it. He wanted me to lead and he would follow. This he decided was the best way for me to internalize the act in my mind.

So I researched anything I could find on anal sex. We tried all kinds of suggestions. Some worked some did not. Finally we found a way that worked for us. It took time and before his cock went up my anus, there were other things that visited there first! I started with my pinky, then my thumb, then two fingers, then a small butt plug, then a bigger one, then an even bigger one, all the while training my asshole and learning to relax.

I tried enema's to get over the fear of "accidents". I found though that they dried me out. So instead I focused on making sure I went to the bathroom 3-4 hours before any attempt at anal and added more fiber to my diet. That helped a lot.

We experimented with different positions. The best one for us initially was to do it lying sideways. Also instead of him forcing his cock in, he would stop when I felt pain and then I would breathe deeply relax and then use my muscles to push back hard on him ( that is why the sideways worked so well for us). This would help move him further into me.

Finally the big day arrived! We did everything right and before I knew it, he was completely in! I know it is silly, but I felt like I had aced some college entrance test!!

I was surprised that it did not feel bad at all. In fact, I was thrilled that it felt so good. The feeling was so unique for my God, that he came very quickly. That brings me to my next embarrassing lesson. I  had an important engagement to get to right after so I just washed with some warm water, got dressed and off I went. Imagine my surprise when I felt something oozing out of my ass as I stood talking to a friend. For a moment I thought I had pooped and was so embarrassed  I rushed to a bathroom and was surprised to see his cum had leaked out of my ass hole. Now I know what you are thinking! Duh!, but seriously I had not even thought about it. Now, I make sure I get all the fluids out if he comes in my ass.


My God though more often than not prefers to come in my mouth. Again, I first agreed to the "I am going to take my cock from your ass and shove it in your mouth" only because he wanted it. This was not my cup of tea, if you know what I mean. After a few times of trying it though ( we did it after I had an enema first, I could not wrap my head around doing it without an enema) I discovered it was no big deal and when I saw the wild lust and passion in my Swami's eyes when he performed A2M, I was hooked. His pleasure became my pleasure.

Finally we did away with the last vestige of my inhibition and I accepted my God's command of performing A2M without insisting on an enema. I have found that if I time my eating right and drink a lot of water and poop a good 3-4 hours before we have anal sex, on most days there is very little residue on his cock anyway. 

Now I crave Anal, it is one of my favorite things to do for my God and we do it so often that I sometimes wonder why I waited so long to try it!!

Since I last wrote this post, A2M has become one of my favorite kinky submissive things to do for my Swami. You can read about our conversation about it here

You can also take a poll and let me know what you think of A2M here

Saturday, October 4, 2014

BDSM pic of the day: Abandoning embarrassment and discovering bliss.

During the early days of our marriage, one of my biggest impediments to selfless worship of my Swami was actually the fear of embarrassment.

I wanted to worship him, but even my small gestures of not calling him by his name, or using an honorific word for "You" in my native tongue used to draw a lot of attention towards me. At first I used to get embarrassed by all this attention.  People used to giggle and tease me about behaving like an Indian woman from another time.

They used to try and convince me to abandon my silly ways. So initially I would only do it in front of family and a few close friends. But as time went on, I grew confident in my own skin and my own convictions. Now all my friends know that I treat my husband very differently. Of course they don't know of our secret lifestyle. I am not that bold yet. Maybe some day :-)

I found that as my fear of embarrassment slowly receded, the joy of selflessly serving my Swami increased. In fact now I experience tiny sparks of delight and satisfaction every time I serve him in public.

My greatest fantasy is to one day, serve him openly and shout out to the world that I love being his Slave. Perhaps on that day, I will be able to do what this photograph captures. Sigh! that would be so beautiful.

To walk naked in public, free of all shame, all pride, with my eyes cast down, my heart pounding yet filled with gratitude that I have abandoned all sense of ego and pride and now exist only to serve my Lord.

Maybe, one day, the people around me will also look on with either mild amusement or better still indifference as I worship my Swami in public as my heart yearns to do.

It is that yearning, that this picture captures so beautifully and in such a mindful way. The thing that moved me most about this picture is that it shows other women in the picture who are perfectly ok with another woman living this lifestyle.

In my world right now, it is the women who have the greatest problem with how I treat my husband. No man has ever chastised me for putting my Swami on a pedestal, several woman however have done just that.

Wouldn't it be awesome if we women were more accepting of each other's choices?