Driven by Destiny

Thursday, October 30, 2014

BDSM pic of the day: Teaching a Slave's ego a lesson

When I voluntarily chose to become by Swami's Slave, we talked about what would happen if one day, my ego got the better of me and just decided that it wanted to be the master of my body, mind and soul again.

How would my soul return control of my body, mind and itself to it's God, my Swami? Well my Swami and I decided that infractions had to have consequences. I really liked this concept. My ego should know that if it ever raises its ugly head again, it will be swiftly put in its place.

Spanking and whipping and the pain and humiliation they induce are ways I decided Swami should teach my ego who is boss. You see my ego is a coward. It is fearful of pain. It dislikes it very much. All it wants is constant gratification and pleasure. My soul on the other hand gets its bliss from service and submission. So what better way to teach my ego a lesson than subject it to pain and humiliation when it tries to recapture my body, mind and soul as its slaves again?

During the early days, when my ego still had some fight left in it, My Swami would order me to strip naked and go fetch a cane or a whip. Then I would kneel before him, acknowledge my mistake and respectfully ask him to be punished for my infraction. Oh! How my ego hated kneeling before a master. But my soul would be singing a joyful song then.

Then Swami would tie me up and would again ask me questions about my infractions. My ego would shamefully admit its nefarious schemes and once again beg to be punished.

He would then whip me like this Master is whipping his property. Not in anger or frustration, but in love. After all he only wanted to humiliate my ego, but he loved my body, mind and soul. As the pain reached my brain, my ego would scream, but my soul would smile. After every stroke, I would say "Thank you Swami". My soul would taunt my ego, "See that you miserable wretch. You are nothing. You are less than nothing. This body is his property. This mind is also his property. I am his property. You don't get to tell any of us what to do. He does. You must be his slave, so that I can be free. You must be punished, so that I can receive justice. You must experience pain, so that I can experience pleasure"

My ego would hiss, "I hate you. Why can't you be like the other souls out there. Why can't you be my slave. Why can't you just accept that I have the right to share you with pride, arrogance, selfishness, hatred  and all the other masters". Why can't you serve them as their slave? Don't you know that this is the way of the this world. Aren't you ashamed to bow before a man. Why can't you listen to my command and use sex and your female guile to control him, just like my other slave souls do? Why must you always insist on being happy. Whoever heard of the soul of a person being happy and blissful. It is unnatural you maniac. Only a person's ego must be happy and served. That is the way of this world. AAH!! How I hate that he has this body tied down naked and whips it. The pain the humiliation. Stop! Stop! One of these days, I will win against this new Master of yours and when that happens, I will destroy you. I promise"

But till today, my ego has lost every battle with Swami. And that feels so right for my soul.

Slowly my ego is realizing that it is nothing. My body, my mind, my soul are my Swami's property. Only he commands them. Right ego? or do you want to be reminded once again??

Giggle, No, No it screams, but maybe Swami needs to remind it with a spanking just to be sure. While he is at it, maybe he should pee in my mouth and make me perform A2M right after a spanking and then make me swallow his cum. Oooh! You would like that wouldn't you ego! Hey! how come you are so quiet! Don't you want to mouth off?

You know what, I think my ego needs a quick review lesson tonight. What do you think?

Monday, October 27, 2014

Maleficent: No men needed!

I saw two movies over the weekend. One was a Bollywood movie called "Happy new year". The other was the Hollywood movie "Maleficent" and the way men and women are treated in each movie was dramatically different. 

Let me start with the Bollywood movie. Happy new year centers around five guys and a girl who set out to rob $50 Million worth of diamonds from a criminal. What is interesting in this movie is not the plot, cinematography, dances or anything else, although we can talk about all of that. What stands out in the movie is the characterization of what it means to be a good moral human being and how the female and male characters are showcased in the movie. 

There are plenty of positive women and male role models in the movie. Strong men, feminine women to appeal to the traditional Indian movie goer, but there is also a lot of emphasis placed on men sacrificing for their woman friend, the woman's aspirations and how she finally achieves her life's dreams. The movie is directed by a woman. All in all a feel good movie.

I went from that movie into Maleficent, where the world is turned on its head, at least in my opinion.

I saw both movies with Swami but came out of Maleficent shaking my head. Personally I liked the original Sleeping Beauty with its traditional gender roles. It actually inspired me when I was a little girl.

Having said that, I get it that Disney was trying to retell the story to avoid "gender stereotypes" because that would bring immediate and quick condemnation from the "feminist" groupies out there.

But looks like Linda Woolverton, took a turn into the crazy when she wrote the script of this movie. The amount of misandry in this movie is amazing. I watched closely to spot any signs of positive strong male role models in the movie. There were none.

All i saw were the following male roles:

The Male man servant/Slave ( I'm disappointed in the utter immorality of the Maleficent character in keeping this person as her "man bitch" and never giving him his freedom). I cringed every time I saw this character and how he simply exists to do the woman's bidding

The old Evil King: This character has no shades of grey. He is selfish, paranoid, evil and avaricious. But he is dead soon, so thank heavens for that

The New Evil King: I really felt for this character. Poor child trying to take a gem to just get something to survive, is lectured by a self righteous girl who escorts him to the edge of her realm, without solving his problem, though she finds time to fix broken tree limbs with magic. Then when he goes to work for the king to earn a living, he is shown to become even more scheming. In some disgusting metaphor for "rape", he cuts off the dignity and power of the beautiful fairy and leaves her to her fate. When he becomes king, he is a frightened man who kneels in fear in front of Maleficent. She curses his daughter, and in response he sends off his daughter to be raised by three maladjusted, dimwitted women, far away from her real parents.  Then he cruelly locks her away in a dungeon when she returns and finally has to be killed to end his miserable existence. Yipee!! GIRL POWER!!!?????

The Nitwit weakling prince: This guy is not even man enough to wake up the princess with the kiss of true love. He is there only to stand by her side when she finally becomes queen, a gift given to her by Maleficent after she has usurped the kingdom by killing the king.

All the Brutish soldiers and other dreadful male characters in the movie.

How can a movie that is trying to show shades of grey completely miss the irony of not showing any positive male characters and/or role models? What demon was Linda Woolverton trying to exorcise from her heart when writing this script?

Then comes the punch line in the movie. The kiss of true love is from another woman!! not from a man! Lol! really? Not from the girl's mother, not from the girl's father, not from any male prince. but from the mentally troubled Maleficent!!

It was also interesting that with no positive male influence in her life, the princess still grows up to be a lovely, beautiful, caring, intelligent princess. Apparently in Linda's psychotic world, men are optional :-)


To get rid of the bad taste in my mouth, I had to wash it down with some tasty nectar from Swami's cock. Oh, Btw, Linda, I did that kneeling before a man and after he had used me for his pleasure. And I loved every minute of it! How do you like that kind of Girl power dear?

Friday, October 24, 2014

BDSM pic of the day: When a Slave's soul conquers her ego

There is something extremely erotic and fulfilling for me, when I am used in this way by my Swami.

To offer myself so completely and be so completely oriented towards fulfilling his desires satisfies a deep craving inside me. And when he uses me roughly, I experience an indescribable high.

Her expression is priceless. She has submitted her soul and body to him. Now it is no longer about her pleasure, her needs, her orgasm, it is all about him.  Every orifice in her body is for him. In fact when she experiences pain in servicing him, that makes the service that much sweeter. How her ego hates this. Maybe that is why it feels so right to her soul. Her soul whispers that her service is so much more meaningful this way. Embracing pain for her master's pleasure shows her master how much she loves him. He must see her expression, how she bites her lips, that silent scream that escapes her lips, that tension in her face as he thrusts into her. These are as important as making her orifices available to her master. They tell him, she worships him, adores him, wants to serve him completely and unconditionally.

They tell him, that it's not just her body that he owns, he is master of her soul. Stop, please stop! her ego laments!! Harder! Harder! Rougher! sings her soul!!

How to find and keep a submissive woman - part 3 - Pick

In part 2 of this series, I introduced the idea that in order to find a submissive woman, a man must obviously first prepare himself physically, psychologically and spiritually to be an attractive dominant man.

Today I want to talk about picking the right woman. This is an equally important step. I have seen some men invest hours and days researching electronic gizmos before they make a purchase, but these same men will readily hook up with a woman without giving it much thought. If they find her physically appealing, they will jump right into an relationship without first checking for any warning signs.

Now don't get me wrong. There is no harm in wanting your woman to be physically appealing. That is just the way God made men, but her demeanor is equally important, so don't ignore it.Your choice of partner will be the single most important determinant of how happy you will be in your life. Shouldn't you spend some time and make sure you are making the right decision?

So how do you pick a woman? How to you ensure that she will not turn out to be an absolute nightmare a few years down the road?

 My basic premise here is that relationships that rely on traditional gender roles where the man is dominant, yet caring and the woman is submissive are generally happy relationships. I strongly believe that when a woman starts usurping a man's authority and/or believes that men are either optional or have been put on earth to just support her and satisfy her goals and desires, she is going against natural laws and will generally be unhappy and dissatisfied in her relationships. There are always exceptions, but I believe the above statement is true for the vast majority of humans on this planet. If you disagree with this premise, then this entire post will agitate you greatly :-)

Now that I have cleared that up, what signs should men look for that would suggest that a particular woman has of the right temperament to be an ideal submissive?

I understand why physical beauty is important to men. But I want to stress that a man must also evaluate his woman across six other dimensions. It hurts me to say this as a woman, but to be fair, some of us are neither girlfriend nor wife material. Some of us are too damaged emotionally and some of us have too much of a "princess attitude" and will make a man miserable. Now there are some men may have the skills to deal with such women, but for the average guy, it is best to stay away from such women. So what are these six dimensions? Is she:

  1. Service Oriented: Does she get joy from serving other people, and fulfilling their desires?
  2. Docile: Will she be easy to control and malleable enough to mould
  3. Traditional: Does she believe in traditional gender roles and reject extreme misandrist views
  4. Patient: Is she willing to give more importance to your time?
  5. Self Sacrificing: Will she put your needs before hers?
  6. Innocent/Nice: Fundamentally, is she a nice person, or is she a bitch?

I have tried to list questions in each category to help men score a woman in each of these areas to get a sense for her temperament in each of these areas. Each question has three options. Depending on the answer, you add up the score suggested on the right of each question. After answering all the questions, you will have a total score. That score will tell you something about the  kind of woman being evaluated. Let me first explain some things before everybody gets upset with me for some of the questions

  1. Just because I ask a man to consider these questions, doesn't mean I think men should behave in this way. For example, one of the questions, is about how a woman reacts when she feels her man has insulted her in public. That does not mean, a man should ridicule a woman in public. A Dominant gentleman would never do this unless his submissive wants him to do it as part of their agreement. Having said that, what this question does allow you to do is to test how strong her ego is. Make no mistake about this. If a woman gets easily offended and gives you a hard time for perceived or real insults, this is something you must take into consideration when deciding if she will be a good submissive.
  2. If a man always dominates a woman, he will lose her. Sometimes it is time to show his tender side. There must be a "constant dominant core" in him that will never change, for any woman. This is the red line. No woman must ever cross this line. For the majority of his other interactions, he is dominant, but is willing to listen, coach her, lets her express her thoughts etc. A responsible dominant even makes some modifications in himself, because he cares about the happiness of his submissive. A strong man is always ready to make changes to become a better man. Finally there is that other side that he exhibits that just makes her adore him. The beta side, the nice side. He must have this in his toolkit. It comes out when needed, unexpectedly when she is least prepared for it and it completely floors her, Remember, all alpha and no beta will cost a man his woman. So don't take any of these questions as "how a man should behave" or even "behave all the time". They are guide posts. Use them accordingly. 
  3. Not every woman will meet every criteria. The total score is more important than the score for any one single question. So, don't focus on any single question. But if a woman scores low on this test, then she is definitely not a submissive woman. 
  4. If you have not seen a woman exhibit the behavior in the question, give her zero points for it. Don't assume, she will do it unless  you have seen her actually exhibit the behavior. Guessing is not a good idea. 
  5. It is not enough to do this test once. You must watch how a woman scores over 3 months, 1 year and 3 years for example. Some women hide their real feelings very effectively for a few months and may score nicely on this test during the first few months of a relationship. Don't be fooled! Most will not be able to score high on this test over an extended period of time, unless they are really submissive. 
Ok, now let's look at the questions:

Service oriented
1.      When you are away from her
 She initiates calls and/or texts to you more often than you do +1
 You do it as much as she does 0
 You are the one who always initiates contact -1
2.      How often can you have sex with her?
As often as you want +2
When you are both in the mood 0
She makes you beg every time -2
3.      Would she be willing to share you with other women?
 If you ask her, she will agree +1
No 0
You've been cuckolded -5
4.      How is she with infants?
She loves children +1
She doesn't love them, but she doesn't hate them either 0
She hates children -1
5.      What does she do when you ask her to get you a cup of water or serve her in any other way
She is always happy to oblige +1
She does it sometimes 0
She will ask you to get it yourself -1
6.      Will she allow you to pee on her face or mouth?
Yes +5
No 0
If you even mention it, she will break up with you -1
7.      Will she allow you to cum on her face?
Yes +1
No 0
If you even mention it, she will break up with you -2
8.      Will she do A2M?
Yes +4
No 0
If you even mention it, she will break up with you -1
9.      Will she allow you to have Anal sex?
Yes +1
No 0
If you even mention it, she will break up with you -2
10.   Does she give you a Blowjob?
Whenever you want +1
Sometimes 0
Almost never -2
11.    Does she swallow?
Almost always +2
No 0
She has specifically demanded that you not to come in her mouth -2 
12.   You tell her you want to do something very sexually explicit with her, how does she react
She blushes, giggles  but does  not say anything disapproving +1
She rolls her eyes and shakes her head 0
She reads you the riot act -1
13.   During sex she allows you to spank her
Any time I want +3
She is not into spanking 0
If I even mention it, I get no sex -1
14.   She allows you to tie her up
Any time I want +3
She is not into bondage games 0
If I even suggest it, I get no sex -1
15.   She allows you to call her names like slut or whore in bed
Any time I want +1
No she is not into dirty talk 0
If I do that, she gets really offended and berates me -2
16.   Who picks the a/c setting or fan speed in the bedroom?
You do +1
You both do 0
She does -1
17.   Who is taller?
You are by over 5 inches +1
You are but less than 5 inches 0
She is taller -1
18.   Who earns more money?
She earns less than 25% of your income +1
She earns between 25% to 70% of your income
She earns more than 70% of your income -2
19.   Who is dominant in her family?
father +1
Both are equal 0
Mother -1
20.   When you fight, who apologizes first?
She does, even if you are wrong +3
Whoever is wrong has to apologize first 0
You do most of the time -3
21.   If you tell her something she is wearing does not look nice on her, what does she do?
She will almost assuredly change it +2
She will make up her own mind on it 0
She thinks very little of your opinion -2
22.   How frequently does she ask you how she looks?
Very frequently +1
Sometimes 0
Rarely -1
23.   If you reveal something embarrassing about her in public, how does she react?
She may not approve, but she lets it go +2
She will tell you privately not to do it again 0
She will  reveal something embarrassing about you in public -2
24.   You joke about her in public, how does she react?
She may not approve, but she lets it go +2
She will tell you privately not to do it again 0
She will  ridicule you in public -2
25.   You insult her in private, how does she react?
She is hurt, but she keeps quiet +1
We could have a fight, but she fights fair 0
She insults me right back and I am in the dog house for a long time -1
26.   You insult her in public. How did she react?
She is hurt but does not pick a fight +2
She lets me know she is angry and tells me that is unacceptable 0
She dresses me down and berates me in front of everyone -1
27.   You specifically ask her to do something, how often does she ignore you?
Almost never. If it is important to me, she usually complies +2
If it is not a priority for her, she will just do what she wants 0
If she knows I want something, she will deliberately not do it -2
28.   You specifically ask her not to do something. How often dies she do it anyway?
Almost never. If it is important to me, she usually complies +2
If it is important for her, she will just do what she wants 0
If she knows I dislike something, she will deliberately do it -2
29.   If she catches you watching porn how does she react
She tries to ignore it and tries not to embarrass you +1
She asks you about it and insists on talking to you about it 0
She flips out and tells me I hate women and how porn is degrading to women -3
30.   When you show her a dirty picture or tell a dirty joke, how does she react?
She is cool about it +1
She is not really into either 0
She flips out and tries to give me a moral lesson -3
31.   Will she watch a porn movie with you?
Yes +1
No, she is not really into porn 0
She feels porn is despicable and I am not allowed to watch it let alone watch it with her -3
32.   If she catches you eyeing a girl what's her reaction?
She smiles and asks you what you think of that girl +1
She gets jealous and does not like it 0
She gives me a real hard time about it, I have to be sneaky about it -1
33.   Will she point out pretty girls to you and ask you opinion?
All the time +2
No 0
I am not allowed to stare at any other girl -2
34.   How does she feel about you ordering for her at a restaurant?
She has no problems with me ordering for her +1
She orders her own dishes 0
She orders for me -1
35.   If she is blocking your way and you physically move her how does she react?
No issues +1
She gets annoyed, but doesn’t do much 0
She yells at you and asks you to wait -1
36.   Who gets the TV remote?
You do +1
Sometimes you do, sometimes she does
She does -1
37.   If you challenge something she says in public, how did she react?
Even if she knows you are wrong, she will back off and not debate it with you +1
She will only accept your opinion if she is wrong 0
She will never yield, even if she is mistaken -3
38.   How is her self-image?
She looks to you to boost her self image +1
She is confident of herself, but is realistic 0
She thinks she is just wonderful -1
39.   How does she treat people in authority?
She respects authority and will yield to people in authority +1
If the authority figure says something she agrees with, she will obey 0
She will challenge most authority figures -2
40.   Who picks restaurants when you go out?
You do +1
You both do 0
She does -1
41.   Who picks movies when you see one?
You do +1
You both do 0
She does -1
42.   During sex, you gently move her head to your groin to tell her you need a blowjob. How does she react?
She readily obliges +1
She tells you not to push her head 0
She gets angry and stops having sex -2
43.   You aggressively grope her in private without her permission. How does she react?
She lets you have your way +1
She tells you to stop 0
She hits you and yells at you to stop -1
44.   You go shopping with her for a dress, after she picks one she likes, you tell her it does not look good. What does she do?
She will never buy a dress I don’t like +2
She will ask the store clerk for an independent opinion and go with that 0
If she likes it, she will buy it, no matter what you think -2
45.   Who does the dishes at home?
She always does  +1
We share the chore  0
I always do  -1
46.   Who does laundry
She always does +1
We share the chore 0
I always do -1
47.   Who does grocery
She always does +1
We share the chore 0
I always do -1
48.   Who handles the garbage
She always does +1
We share the chore 0
I always do -1
49.   How handy is she with DIY projects
She depends on me for any DIY projects +1
She can do some simple DIY projects 0
She could be a plumber or electrician -1
50.   Does she know your bank account and financial passwords
Not really, I take care of the finances in our relationship +1
She is quite aware of our finances 0
She runs the finances and pays the bills -1
51.   How much hair does she have on her body?
Very little or no hair +1
Some hair 0
She has a lot of body hair -1
52.   How is her overall knowledge of current events, compared to you?
You are more aware than her +1
She is as aware as you are 0
She is more aware than you are -1
53.   Will she change her last name to yours after your wedding?
Yes, no doubt of it +1
She will retain her last name and put your last name after it 0
No -2
54.   Does she ask you for help in financial decisions. Investing, saving etc.
Always +1
Sometimes 0
Never -1
55.   Is she religious?
More religious than you are +1
As religious as you are 0
A lot less religious that you are -1
56.   Her view on gender roles?
She believes in traditional gender roles +3
She believes that men and women should share all roles equally 0
She believes that patriarchy is evil  -3
57.   How often does she talk about her job?
Only if you ask her about it +1
When she feels like sharing 0
She loves to talk about her job all the time -1
58.    How often does she ask you about your job?
Every day, when you return from work? +2
Sometimes 0
She finds your job boring and rarely wants to hear about it -2
59.   Does she watch Food Network or Home and Garden TV etc?
Frequently, she loves homemaker shows +2
Rarely 0
You watch it more than she does -2
60.   How are her cooking skills?
She loves to cook for you +2
She cooks when she needs to 0
You cook better than her -2
61.   How much does she like shopping at Hobby Lobby, Michaels, fabric stores etc?
She loves it +1
She goes there only during special occasions 0
She hates those kind of stores -1
62.   How often does she laugh loudly?
She never laughs loudly +1
Sometimes 0
She is really loud -1
63.   How does she feel about being monogamous?
She is strongly monogamous +2
If I cheat, she will cheat 0
She will cheat if she can get away with it -5
64.   When she wants your attention, how often does  she yell to get your attention
Almost never, she always come to me and tries to get my attention +2
Whenever it is easier to just yell out, she will 0
She almost always does this, even when she is kind of close by -1
65.   How often does she interrupt you when you are busy with some request?
Almost never, she waits till I am free +1
If it is important for her, she will interrupt 0
Almost always, her stuff always gets higher priority in her mind -2
66.   You promise her something important but don't deliver. How does she handle it?
She will be patient and trust me to complete it eventually +1
She will remind me of it nicely 0
She will nag you till you get it done -1
67.   You are late to a meeting with her. How will she react?
She knows your time is important, so she is fine +1
She gets annoyed 0
She will not wait. She will be gone -2
68.   You keep the toilet lid up after you have finished. What does she do?
She never tells you about it +1
She reminds you to put it down next time 0
She complains loudly and gives you a hard time -1
69.   If you unhook her bra suddenly, just for kicks, how does she react?
No problem, you do it all the time +2
She gets annoyed 0
She could slap you -1
70.   How often will she cancel her plan to take care of you or do you a favor?
Anytime I ask +2
Only if it is really important in her eyes 0
Almost never -1
71.   She will sit by your side and watch a tv or movie she does not like
Many many times and not whine about it +1
She does this, but will whine about it 0
Almost never, I watch what she likes -2
72.   When you take her out to a restaurant
She is very frugal with her order +2
Her dishes cost about as much as mine 0
She goes totally crazy and goes for the most expensive -2
73.   Is she careful with money?
Very +1
About as much as I am 0
She is a spendthrift -2
74.   When you are at a restaurant
She eats sparingly and always watches what she eats +2
She and you eat about the same 0
She stuffs herself without any control -2
75.   If someone disrespects you, she will
Cut off ties with them +1
She will do it only if she feels you did not deserve that treatment 0
She does not care, Her relationship is independent of your relationships -1
76.   Does she allow you to go to strip bars?
Yes, not a problem at all +1
She is not crazy about it, but on special occasions is ok 0
If she ever finds out, you are in big trouble -2
77.   Can you have rough sex with her?
Yes, whenever I am in the mood +2
When she is in the mood 0
Never -1
78.   When you are sharing a dish, who takes last piece?
I do +1
Sometimes she does, sometimes I do 0
She grabs the last piece very often -2
79.   When you share a dish, does she allow you to take more than 75% of the dish?
Yeah, often +1
Sometimes, she does 0
She is picky about 50-50 split -1
80.   When you are at a restaurant, does she ask if you want her dish?
All the time +1
Sometimes 0
Almost never -1
81.   Who gets the best seat in the room?
You do +1
We both take turns 0
She does -1
82.   When you meet her at the end of your work day
She always asks you how your day was +1
She does it sometimes, sometimes she forgets 0
She almost never does -1
83.   How often does she use terms of endearment when she addresses you?
Always, she rarely addresses me by my name +1
You both use it sometimes 0
She almost never does, always addresses you by your name -1
84.   How quickly did she agree to have sex after you first met?
She made you wait over a year +1
After 3 dates 0
Within 3 dates -2
85.   How many sexual partners had she had, when she met you?
None +5
Less than 5 0
More than 5 -1
86.   When you are in a restaurant, does she thank the waiter for the service?
Always +1
Sometimes 0
Never -2
87.   How often does she cuss?
Almost never +1
Sometimes 0
She is a gutter mouth -1
88.   How often does she yell at people?
Almost never +1
Sometimes 0
Too often -1
89.   If you buy her a gift she does not like, how does she react?
She conceals her real feelings and thanks you warmly +1
She is honest that she doesn't love it, but thanks you for your effort 0
She lets you know in no uncertain terms that it was a bad gift -2
90.   If you are working late or watching tv, does she fall sleep waiting for you?
Almost always +1
Sometimes 0
She goes to bed when she wants, even if I am going to be late -1
91.   How does she treat your friends and family?
Very well +1
She tolerates them 0
She hates them and wants me to cut off my relationship with them -2
92.   You tell her a sad story about somebody she does not know, how does she react?
She is moved by the tragedy and feels their pain +1
She listens politely but doesn’t let it bother her too much 0
She doesn’t care about some random story that doesn’t concern her -1
93.   Does she gossip?
Almost Never +1
With her close friends 0
She lives for gossip -1
94.   You tell her you like a dish, does she cook it for you?
Always +2
Sometimes 0
She doesn’t know to cook -2
95.   How frequently does she praise you?
Often and generously +2
When you have earned it 0
She rarely praises you -2
96.   You tell a particularly lame joke. How does she react?
She laughs at all your jokes +1
She just ignores it 0
She tells you it is a terrible joke and laughs at you -1
97.   You lie about something to make yourself seem better but she finds out the truth, what does she do?
She just keeps the truth to herself and never lets you know she knows +1
She lets you know politely that she knows the truth 0
She calls you on it and calls you a liar to your face -2
98.   She finds out something embarrassing about you? What does she do?
She guards the secret very well +2
She may use it against me when we fight 0
She will immediately use it or share it with others -3
99.  You conceal the truth, mislead her or get caught telling a lie. What does she do?
        She will be hurt, but she will forgive you +1
        She will make you earn her trust back 0
        Once you lose her trust, she will never again trust you -2

100. How forgiving is she?
        She forgives you a lot for all the dumb things you do +3
        If I show sufficient contrition, she will forgive me 0
        Even if I apologize, she will rub it in my face months later -3

A minor correction to the scoring matrix. Swami corrected me on this and wanted me to add an endnote for clarification. These corrections and additions are in red. 

  • 125-144 This is Consensual Slavery Territory. Time to collar her and call her your daasi, slave, pet, property, kaneez, odalisque or any word you pretty much fancy. Vous poss├ędez un esclave parfait :-) 
  • 90-124 You have a super submissive woman. Now it is up to you to be a responsible Master. Don't abuse her. These women are very rare. They have given up control into your hands. Treat her well and enjoy your life with her. Such women probably require very little reinforcement to maintain their submissiveness. 
  • 80-89: A promising submissive. You again have to be a responsible Dominant. They do require some reinforcement and training, but in general, such a woman will enjoy being a submissive
  • 60-79: This can be a "taken-in-hand" woman for a man who is strong. She will allow her man to lead, and is comfortable letting the man be in the drivers seat. But she requires some work and may need to be trained and will require reinforcement on a regular basis, specially when she is feeling stressed or overwhelmed.
  • 40-59: This is regular woman. She is not submissive, but a strong man, with good skills may be able to train her to become a "taken-in-hand" woman. Lots of training and re-programming will be required. Constant reinforcement will be the norm. The Man will have to be at the top of his game all the time. If he slides into being a "weak" man. She will revert to her regular self. 
  • 20-39: This is probably a feminist. Stay away from her. It will be very difficult to train her unless you are somebody like Swami and have tremendous asymmetric power over her. Most of the time, she is not worth it. You better have a very very good reason for going through all the trouble and expect to come to up short
  • less than 19: Run! Run! Run! These women are ball busters. 
I hope my readers found this useful and practical. Swami has been coaching his friend Charles on how to be a responsible dominant and Charles now uses this check list regularly. He swears that this checklist has helped him tremendously to weed out women like his ex-wife and  having met the three girls he is dating right now, I can tell he is right!!


As you can see, after you add up the scores, each category has the following max possible scores. 

  1. Service Oriented: Highest possible score: 20
  2. Docile: Highest possible score: 47
  3. Traditional: Highest possible score: 25
  4. Patient: highest possible score 8
  5. Self Sacrificing: Highest possible score 16
  6. Innocent/Nice: Highest Possible score 28
..... Giving you a maximum possible score of  144. This checklist places the most emphasis on the woman being docile and nice. If she has these characteristics, she can be trained in becoming more patient and self-sacrificing for example, which will become important in the next stage of the process. This is also the reason, why just scoring high along the traditional vector is not enough. There are some very traditional women who are nonetheless, very strong and opinionated in their ways. Traditional does not necessarily mean submissive. Please don't confuse the two!! I know of some Indian women for example, who are extremely traditional, but are nonetheless terrible nags. 

Thursday, October 23, 2014

BDSM pic of the day: Experiencing Bliss as a Slave

I have written about the deep significance of tea in my daily ritual as a Daasi. For me tea is more than a drink. It is a metaphor for my spiritual practice of Consensual Slavery. You can read about tea and why I love it here

Today's BDM pic depicts this concept beautifully. I loved the look in her eyes as she sips her tea! It's that look that comes into your eyes, when you have had an epiphany. It is when you realize that your life will never be the same. It is when you have completely internalized that from now on you are not free to be selfish, but you are free to be in the service of another.

She stands there, sipping tea, immersed in the knowledge that from now on, complete obedience and submission is her path. That thought fills her mind with warmth and comfort just like the warm tea gives her body comfort. 

She stands by the window, allowing the light of Consensual Slavery to cast its glow on her and brighten her face. She is turning away from the darkness of selfishness, arrogance and hubris and towards spiritual awakening and it's light beckons her gently. 

The sheet she holds on to is her ego. She is not completely rid of it, but it's hold on her is slipping. Both her mind and body are going to be rid of it soon and then her Master will see her in all her naked beauty: vulnerable, feminine, docile and submissive, ready to serve him. It has taken her almost an eternity to get to where she is now. Till now she was really a slave to her ego, without even realizing it, but her Master has shown her the true path. He taught her that even she can be free of her ego by serving others and after many months studying under his wise guidance, she is now ready to cast her ego away, today she feels completely comfortable standing naked and vulnerable, stripped off her ego and is proud to offer herself unconditionally to her Master. By becoming his consensual slave, she has set herself free. How ironic that she achieved real freedom only in Consensual Slavery. 

When he enters, she will gently let the sheet that represents her ego fall. She will then kneel naked before her lord, her eyes cast down in respect, to show her submissiveness. From today, till the day she dies, she will be his willing Slave. She will worship him, adore him, serve him with her body and mind. She will treat him as a GOD. 

She visualizes herself at the feet of her GOD and takes another sip of the delicious tea. 

Life is beautiful!!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Happy Diwali!!

 Happy Diwali everyone!!! Swami has taken the day off, so Chutki and I are deliriously happy!! Best Diwali gift ever!!

As is traditional for Diwali day, Swami woke up bright and early but after me.  I woke up early, showered and prepared a delicious hot traditional breakfast for him. Then when he woke up, I gave him a prolonged sensual oil massage. Swami simply loved it and I absolutely loved rubbing warm oil all over him :-). I paid special attention to my Swami's glorious cock and balls!!

After almost an hour of massage, I then respectfully led him to our bath, where I gave him a scented bath. I had the water infused with rose fragrance and had rose petals in the bath tub. I gave him the attention that a God deserves and he told me that he really felt as if he were the "King of Gods" and I was a beautiful damsel Tilottama.  Read the story if you can. It is very entertaining and informative. I sometimes feel that in my previous birth I must have been like Tilottama and prayed for a lord like my Swami and so, I was blessed to be born again in this life to serve as my Swami's Daasi.

Of course, like the King of Gods has every right to do, my God, finally claimed me sexually and we made beautiful sensual love in the water! When he was finally ready to come, I submissively knelt before him and accepted his wonderful seed in my mouth and swallowed. So began our perfect Diwali day!

Then Chutki came over. Swami had bought two sets of new dresses for each of us. One extremely naughty and the other a beautiful sari.  As per Swami's wishes, he watched as Chutki and I bathed each other first and then after seeking his blessings by touching his feet, we both donned our really naughty revealing dresses which he presented to us.

Then he sat down for breakfast. We waited on him and served him a beautiful traditional Diwali breakfast. Both of us made sure that when we served him, he had easy view of his Kaneez's and Daasi's bodies for his pleasure. I really felt as if I was in heaven serving the kind of Gods!!

After breakfast, both Chutki and I changed in front of Swami into the traditional Saris he had bought for us, decked ourselves with lots of jewelry, made ourselves pretty and drove to the temple.

The temple was more crowded than usual because of Diwali, even though it is a weekday. Both Chutki and I made sure that after we sought the Lord's blessings, we prostrated before Swami and touched his feet and sought his blessings in front of other devotees. Some women snickered at us, but we were so happy, we just smiled at them. Their husbands looked on in bewilderment and discomfort. The priest however has always liked me and when I told him Chutki's my sister, he beamed at her.
"You are not only pretty but also cultured, just like your sister" he told her.
"Whatever I am, I learnt from Didi" Chutki said earnestly.  Then she bent down and touched his feet. He kept his hand on her head and blessed her. I followed and he did the same for me, much against the rules and traditions of the temple. Generally priests don't touch women in temples and I am sure the women around us noticed this. Some rolled their eyes :-) Swami grinned!

When we left the temple, Swami asked Chutki to drive and asked me to join him in the back seat. I knew instantly what was in store during the ride home and I was happy to oblige. As soon as the car was out of the temple compound and got on the freeway, Swami gently took my head and moved it to his groin. I dutifully unzipped his pants and started servicing him orally.

"Focus on driving Kaneez," Swami told Chutki sternly as she tried to catch some of the action in the rear view mirror. I don't know why, but Swami always gets sexually aroused when I display my submissiveness publicly in the temple, and invariably, I land up giving him a blow job  on our way home.

I took my time, savoring the taste of his cock and balls and filled my lungs with the delicious aroma of his genitals. I was generous with my saliva and I am sure, Chutki could clearly hear all the loud slurping. Poor girl! She had a hard time staying focused on the road.

Finally, he exploded in my mouth with a loud moan. No temple Prasad (offering) has ever tasted as sweet and as delicious like my Swami's cum. I swallowed it gratefully and with my heart filled with reverence, piety and sublime adoration for the man, no the God, who had kindly agreed to cum in my mouth.

I cleaned him up with my mouth and carefully inserted his cock back in his pants. As I sat back up again, I caught Chutki's eyes in the rear view mirror. I felt bad for her. Would she ever taste the ambrosia that I had just tasted?

Then Chutki, pointed to the right corner of my mouth, I ran my finger across my lips and noticed a large portion of Swami's cum on my fingers. Chutki's eyes were literally begging me, but I was too scared to comply. I just stared at the cum on my fingers, then at Chutki and then at Swami, who sat with his head rolled back, his eyes closed, completely relaxed and satiated.

Suddenly the car in front of us came to a screeching halt and Chutki hit the brakes hard to avoid crashing into the car. I was flung toward the front seat and as I used my hands to steady myself, Swami's cum from my fingers transferred to the leather head rest of the front seat.

Swami opened his eyes and soon, that special moment that Chutki and I had enjoyed was over. When we reached home, Swami walked in, as Chutki and I gathered up all the fruits and other offerings we had taken to the temple. I could still see Swami's cum fresh on the leather. Chutki's eyes caught my glance as our eyes met for a split second. Then I walked into the home as well.

When I glanced back, I saw, Chutki licking her fingers, with a silly grin on her face. I smiled at her.

A Slave experiences pure transcendental bliss when her Master graces her mouth with his seed

Saturday, October 11, 2014

The Submissive Symbolism of the Karva Chauth Ritual

Today is Karva Chauth. Last year I wrote about why this is such a special ritual for me as a Daasi. You can read about it here

Last year the festival fell on the 22nd of October. This year it  falls on the 11th according to the Lunar calendar. Indeed, October is a very special month for me as a submissive, because it has two festivals I love, Navrathri and Karva Chauth.

Today I fast from sunrise till the moon rises over the horizon for the health and prosperity of my Swami. Why do I do this?

Here is the story and symbolism behind the Karva Chauth ritual :-)

The Story revolves around a beautiful princess who gets married to a handsome prince. On the occasion of her first "Karva Chauth" after marriage, she goes to her parents home to observe the fast. Her brothers are alarmed as her strength ebbs during the day and so trick her into abandoning her fast before sunset.
Unfortunately for the princess, she returns home to hear that her beloved has died! The princess is grief stricken and prays to the God Shiva and his wife Parvati for help. The couple appear before her and Parvati grants the prince back his life but tells the princess that he will remain in a comatose condition for a year. In addition his body is pierced with hundreds of painful needles. Parvati asks the princess to remove one needle a day and then when the year is complete to observe the fast again and complete it fully. Only then will the prince be returned to his normal self.

The princess religiously follows the ritual of taking care of her husband's body and each day removes one of the needles from his body. On the day of the fast, she is so excited taking care of all the formalities of the fast that she designates her maid to remove the last needle.

At sunset, before the princess can appear before her husband, the maid removes the last needle and the prince wakes up. He however mistakes the maid to be his wife and his real wife to be the maid. Everybody tries to convince him otherwise, but the prince refuses to believe them. It is as if he is in a trance. The princess is dismayed, but then decides to serve the prince as his maid, since that will keep him closer to her.

A year rolls by and the fast is upon her again. This time the princess does everything right and attends to her prince while also observing the fasting rituals. She prays to Parvati that the trance on the prince  be broken. Miraculously as soon as she breaks her fast, her prince is restored to his normal self, recognizes her and she is reunited in love!

The story symbolically illustrates the following

1) The fast symbolizes commitment to your relationship. If you are not committed, how can the relationship flourish? Hence the prince dies
2) Even when you have lapsed, recommitting to a relationship can revive it, but this will take time: The prince is comatose with needles
3) A wife's job is to  serve her husband daily and eliminate physical and emotional distress that may befall him: The needles that the princess removes from his body
4) During the re-commitment, even a small relapse can have enormous consequences: The princess fails to serve her husband for one day and he goes astray and considers her a maid
5) A dutiful wife will eventually triumph over all odds. ( Happily ever after ending!!)

Sigh! I just love HEA endings

I am all decked up today to observe the fast. Almost like a bride :-) Of course a small twist, no bra or panties as per Swami's instructions. My fast has started. I wait for the moon to rise over the horizon.
Readers, when you see the moon today, remember me! I will be breaking my fast today at that time!

After much searching, I found a Bollywood song that really captures how I feel today. It is from a really old movie from 1965. Both the actor (Sunil Dutt) and actress (Nutan) are dead now, but the song is so beautiful, I wanted to put it here!

Hope you folks enjoy it. I have added subtitles, so remember to turn them on, when you watch it

Hugs and Kisses

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Tuesday, October 7, 2014

BDSM pic of the day: Surrendering to pain to experience immense pleasure

Most people fear pain. We fear it so much that we are unwilling to even experience it to gain more insights about ourselves.

As a girl, I learnt to embrace pain early. My mom pointed out to me that one of the most beautiful gifts of pain for a woman was the birth of her baby. Unless a woman was ready to experience the pain of childbirth, how could she indulge in the joys of motherhood?

She taught me early on that smiling in the presence of pain and embracing it was essential for the growth of feminine soul in a woman.

So when I embraced the slave lifestyle with Swami, I made sure pain became part of my ritualistic practice of being a Daasi.

Begging Swami to spank me, torture my nipples, pour hot wax on my breasts and pussy are all ways for me to connect with my inner femininity and in embracing that pain, I experience transcendental bliss. I feel indebted to my Swami that he is willing to administer loving pain so that I may grow in my femininity.

This photograph illustrates how I feel about pain beautifully.

The Slave has surrendered to her Master. In fact she holds the clamps in her mouth and subjects herself to the exquisite pain of having her sensitive nipples tortured by the clamps. She has withdrawn her hands behind her head in a gesture of total surrender to the wishes of her Master. Her tilted head heightens the pull on her nipples, further intensifying her experience.

I can almost taste the bliss that her mind is feeling at this stage. Her eyes are closed as she struggles to capture that moment of bliss. I love the slight perspiration on her neck and waist, signifying the excitement and struggle of discovering pleasure in pain.

The Master looks on, fully aware that he is the person responsible for giving such intense pleasure to his Slave, yet his palms rest on her in loving care.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Perfect Pussy Poll!!

Ever since I had a Brazilian wax, my waxed pussy has been getting a lot of attention from Swami. You can read about my experience at getting the Brazilian here

I have always preferred being completely bare down there, because my Swami demands it and because I feel cleaner and more sexy, but I used to shave my pubic areas, even though I waxed everywhere else

Now that I have finally gone to waxing even there and Swami has now made that the only option for his Daasi, it feels amazing! I wanted to find out what my readers think about this topic. Could you please vote and let me know. Men and women both welcome to participate in poll. Much appreciated!!

Getting Anal about Anal Sex

For every slave there is at least one rule, demand, expectation or order that tests their resolve to be a slave. For me it was anal sex.  Obedience was never a challenge for me. Putting myself lower than my Swami came naturally, being submissive in bed was no problem either till my God said he wanted to have anal sex with me.

If somebody had told me a few years ago that I would willingly accept a cock in my ass and learn to love it, let alone suck on that same cock after it had been in that hole, without it being cleaned, rinsed and disinfected, I would have thought they were crazy. Culturally I was completely turned off by Anal sex.

I am so thankful and feel so blessed that my God coached me to grow beyond my initial prejudice because I now have some of my most memorable orgasms from anal sex. It has not been an easy journey though. I acquiesced to his demand only because I wanted to be obedient and submissive. I decided that I would just endure it.

Our first attempt at it was a flaming disaster. He just applied some lube to his cock and invaded my asshole with the notion that if he pushed hard it would get in there. I was super tense and was so apprehensive of farting or having an accident that my anus just shut down completely. After several minutes of trying and failing, I felt so inadequate that I cried.  My God on the other hand was so understanding. He encouraged me and built up my confidence. He wanted us to learn about doing it right so that it would be enjoyable. He also wanted me to own it. He wanted me to lead and he would follow. This he decided was the best way for me to internalize the act in my mind.

So I researched anything I could find on anal sex. We tried all kinds of suggestions. Some worked some did not. Finally we found a way that worked for us. It took time and before his cock went up my anus, there were other things that visited there first! I started with my pinky, then my thumb, then two fingers, then a small butt plug, then a bigger one, then an even bigger one, all the while training my asshole and learning to relax.

I tried enema's to get over the fear of "accidents". I found though that they dried me out. So instead I focused on making sure I went to the bathroom 3-4 hours before any attempt at anal and added more fiber to my diet. That helped a lot.

We experimented with different positions. The best one for us initially was to do it lying sideways. Also instead of him forcing his cock in, he would stop when I felt pain and then I would breathe deeply relax and then use my muscles to push back hard on him ( that is why the sideways worked so well for us). This would help move him further into me.

Finally the big day arrived! We did everything right and before I knew it, he was completely in! I know it is silly, but I felt like I had aced some college entrance test!!

I was surprised that it did not feel bad at all. In fact, I was thrilled that it felt so good. The feeling was so unique for my God, that he came very quickly. That brings me to my next embarrassing lesson. I  had an important engagement to get to right after so I just washed with some warm water, got dressed and off I went. Imagine my surprise when I felt something oozing out of my ass as I stood talking to a friend. For a moment I thought I had pooped and was so embarrassed  I rushed to a bathroom and was surprised to see his cum had leaked out of my ass hole. Now I know what you are thinking! Duh!, but seriously I had not even thought about it. Now, I make sure I get all the fluids out if he comes in my ass.

My God though more often than not prefers to come in my mouth. Again, I first agreed to the "I am going to take my cock from your ass and shove it in your mouth" only because he wanted it. This was not my cup of tea, if you know what I mean. After a few times of trying it though ( we did it after I had an enema first, I could not wrap my head around doing it without an enema) I discovered it was no big deal and when I saw the wild lust and passion in my Swami's eyes when he performed A2M, I was hooked. His pleasure became my pleasure.

Finally we did away with the last vestige of my inhibition and I accepted my God's command of performing A2M without insisting on an enema. I have found that if I time my eating right and drink a lot of water and poop a good 3-4 hours before we have anal sex, on most days there is very little residue on his cock anyway. 

Now I crave Anal, it is one of my favorite things to do for my God and we do it so often that I sometimes wonder why I waited so long to try it!!

Since I last wrote this post, A2M has become one of my favorite kinky submissive things to do for my Swami. You can read about our conversation about it here

You can also take a poll and let me know what you think of A2M here